Compulsive Grocery Shopping

It's true, but identifying the problem is the first step towards recovery!!! I grocery shop when I'm bored. We DID need bread and eggs and garbage bags, though...

;p

I took out the garbage. That felt very productive.

Neuromancer is still sort of kicking my ass.

The boy is home early today! Maybe we'll clean more and play games and not die quite so much XD

(what? *blink blink*)

A bit trying

today was. Pretty lonnnnng. I went to the library. I got all worried about food and crap. I took a nap. Can't let that become a nasty habit. I guess it's because I wasn't feeling so good and was also bit depressed. Woke up around 7. Was hoping the boy would've been home by then, but no cigar. I cast about for a bit and then went out in hopes to catch him on his way back. Read Gibson perched like a homeless person on the stoop decoration of some businessy place across the street from his building. Then it was dark and rather cold so I reluctantly went home. Actually I took a windy way to Polk and found a Thai place where I satisfied a long-repressed craving for yellow curry with chicken and Thai iced coffee. No onions to request a lack of at this place either, just beautiful potatoes and carrots with lovingly scalloped edges. Yum. That made me pretty happy even though I was alone and starving and feeling a bit out of it. There are even take-outs for tomorrow. Or for the boy I suppose, should he ever show up, although I seem to remember him not liking coconut milk curries, so maybe it's all mine.

I'm stuck in all my games lol. There's nowhere to go! Maybe I will read some more. Neuromancer is a bit hard to follow for me. Maybe I'm just still getting used to his style. Not always quite sure what is going on. Also, I haven't read S.F. in a long while. It feels good, but pretty foreign. Of course, I've NEVER read cyberpunk before (least of all "the novel that started it all") so maybe that's the catch. It's not bad, anyhow.

Hum hum hum. Off to chatter.

Kitaaaaaa

It's finally summer! I'm free of the dorm, free of the campus stress, free of finals. Yay, yay, yay.

I even got to leave early because the cardiologist appt had to be rescheduled (i.e. cancelled). So I've been in San Francisco since Tuesday night, which is very nice. The boy had off this week so we've just been relaxing, playing games, watching tv shows on the computer... XD

Ohhhh, this reminds me, though, that there is a scholarship I was going to apply for. I had better do that...

It's due June 1 @_@

Oh, and I got officially accepted to Sophia. There wasn't really any doubt of that, but it's still nice to know...

Typo: "Ducking"

I wonder if that implies something (instead of "Duck" ne)

I had a dream last night that I failed my Japanese final. I already know I got a 97%, but in the dream I got 6 out of 12. I wonder why it was out of 12. All I can think of is that 12 is the hottest number, so maybe that's why. Anyways, I failed. I had my characteristic reaction to failing. I thought it was hilarious. It doesn't happen very often, ne. Not so utterly. And anyhow, I would still get a C or B in the class if that happened.

I find it amusing that I'm dreaming about the test that I ALREADY TOOK.

Oh well. I decided that since breakfast is the one meal on campus I still can take that it would make more sense to go out for lunch. Or maybe I will scrap the whole idea. Anyhow, right now a bagel and grapefruit sounds pretty damned good.

Still haven't heard from the boy. I'm a little worried now. Probably I'm just being paranoid...

The Escapist is running a "best of" issue this week. Maybe this is my chance to try to catch up!! (from...January lol)

*sigh*

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll try to do everything the way it needs to be done.

Let's see if I can procrastinate some more...

Blah, I just took some pix, but I'm too lazy to even include them right now. Basically just consists of: 1) look how empty my room is 2) look how over school I am.

I have this sense when I feel like something is already over. Like last night when I gave up trying to reach the train. I just felt like it was too late, and there were other options, but the option of catching the train was done for. This is applicable now in two ways. First, I feel like both of these classes have been over for quite some time. The past week or two have been nothing but presentations and movies. Second, I feel like the option of studying is pretty much dead. I just can't do it. I think about it. I picked up my notebook. It's sitting right there. I went and had a snack so I couldn't say I was hungry. It's just not happening.

Do I just not care?

No.

I want to do my best. I don't know how, though. Will forcing myself to look at this stuff really make me better?

Honestly, I just don't want to write the meta-narrative essay. He's going to ask us what the meta-narrative of modern Japanese history is, and I don't feel like writing an essay on that. That's something you bounce around, discuss, read scholarly opinions of. I dunno. I don't feel qualified or inclined to make any sort of authoritative sounding document dealing with that topic.

I think my other issue is that sometime after I said good-bye to him this morning the boy dropped off the planet. Maybe I'm just being annoying, but I sorta wish I knew what he was up to. I can't get a hold of him and I told him I would call after my exam, soooooo I dunno.

I think I'm just in a mood.

I wonder if missing pills is contributing at all.

You know, if all of this school and campus life etc would just wind down on it's own, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. It's just that ending it all takes so much EFFORT. I have to take tests and mail things, clean things, make appts with RAs to check on the room, pack up the rest of my crud, and then wednesday I'm hiking to the cardiologist again and then hiking even more after that (with all my crap, mind you) to the train station where I will finally be able to relax. I like trains. I can deal with trains. Amtrak is nice.

I'm also serious about the nap thing. Whyyyy does it do that? I was hoping eating something else would help settle my stomach down, but it's still sore. It's a weird sort of thing...not really burny but...closer to that than to anything else. Ugh.

UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH

So what are my issues right now?

I'm lonely. I'm stressed out over tests (or maybe not stressed out enough...) My sleep is off. My stomach hurts.

I don't want to do anything.

I feel like if I try to study I will get sick or something. I'm that against it right now. If I think about looking at notes, I get this idea in my head that it will make my stomach feel worse, or maybe I just won't be able to concentrate properly or something. I dunno. Ha, concentration.

I guess I'm just burned out. Where did I go wrong?

Should I just allow myself to screw off till tomorrow? I have a few hours (during which I was supposed to run errands...) before my history test, and I'm not so worried about Lit. Hell, lit I could probably think about tonight if I wanted. And then, it's not like I haven't studied at all for history. I've been doing little bits. I read some relevent chapters in another book. Good review. I like getting other sources rather than just rereading the same stuff over and over. Repetition is good, but it's even better if you can change the context. That said, I dunno if that really works for history. It does for languages, though.

*falls over*

I don't even want to play games anymore. Maybe I should just go to bed. Go to bed, and get up tomorrow and take myself out for breakfast with the money I shouldn't spend. Pretty sure I've had it with the dining hall. I'm thinking cereal, bagels, and sandwiches from here on out. And breakfast.

I'm trying to decide if this is constructive or not, going over all the shit in my head like this. Maybe it is just self-indulgent and stupid. Maybe I'm "wallowing." By the way, I REALLY hate that word in that context. It just sounds really demeaning. It's like when people ask if you've been doing anything "naughty" lately. Makes me want to kick their teeth in.

Yeah, I guess I'm starting to feel kind of bad about it now. Going on and on like this. Maybe I will go brush my teeth, put on some music, and sack out. My stomach hates me.

Note to Self (Or: To Reiterate)

Do not take naps. They make you feel sick.

Do not try the nasty-looking food in the dining hall no matter what they CALL it.

Study for your exams or you will fail.

Find the remote control missles.

Omihell, I feel like crap.

Can I go back to bed? God, I took a nap cuz I was bored and tired. Had this screwed up dream where this professor (not a real one, a dream one at some dream college) came in my room and was like molesting me. He wouldn't get off me and I kept telling him to stop and finally managed to chuck him on the floor and get away. God, what a freak. The whole time I was like where's Scott where's Scott where's Scott?

Then so just several minutes ago I woke up and thought it was like seven o'clock, in which case it was past when I usually eat and that the dining hall would close soon, so I dragged myself up (feeling very unsteady and yucky, since napping is generally just bad for me) and over to the food. Then I ate some nasty stuff that was supposed to be Mexican and regrette it instantly and still right now. I feel like total shit, haven't taken my meds yet, don't want to study and ON TOP OF THAT IT WAS ONLY QUARTER TO FIVE.

wtf

SERIOUSLY

wtf wtf wtf

I'm so mad.

*vent*

In other words, I think campus is trying to have a parting shot before I get out of here and right now it's winning.

GOD, I hate it here...

A Nifty Oops

I missed my train back to Stockton last night. Luckily, I was able to get permission to show up to my math exam late, and even get some extra time (which I ended up not needing cuz I take tests crazy stupid fast XD)

At first it was stressful, cuz we had been rushing to leave, but I sorta gave up. I figured it would be easier to just get up early and leave. We had pizza and played Metal Gear Solid until 1 am. A really good night, considering how it started :D

I caught a cab from the train station this morning (ten bux x_x) and took the math test. Not so bad. I think I did decently. Two more finals tomorrow and then school is officially over XD

For a couple months ;p

BUT, the next time I have classes will be in Tokyo. That's sort of mind-blowing *_*

*ramble* OK, I guess I didn't really have anything that exciting to say. I wish my tests were over is all. I really don't want to study... Lit should be fine, and history is just...scary. I dunno what to do to get ready. I've been reading to review and looking over handouts and things, but I dunno. Bleh, I just have no idea. >_< I will feel SO MUCH BETTER come five o'clock tomorrow evening.

Wednesday is going to be so nice. I'll get to Frisco, and NOT HAVE TO LEAVE. Not in two days, or three days, or a couple weeks. I will just be there for the whole summer. *sigh* WONDERFUL

*love and sparkles*

RIP my first flares

Also my favorites x_x

The worst part I guess, is that they somehow managed to rip to the point where I was tripping over them every other step practically. I looked like a complete idiot and then when they finally ripped up the calf (which still didn't stop the tripping) these ladies were behind me all, "Are you ok?"

First dim sum experience outside of the dining hall. I think I made them mad. I only had five bucks and was just craving some meat so I got pork and shrimp shu mai. Tasty!

The boy's plane "got lost" somehow, so he's delayed. Guess I will just punk around till he gets back...

Grocery Zeal

Yeah, I get a little excited in grocery stores XD

Especially after being cooped up in a dorm. Farewell to the stupid dining hall!! Bwah hahahaha.

MMmmmmm...should probably go read or something :D I got a call back from that lady. Sounds like she may be interested XD Said she would call me back in the next couple days.

On the way home from the cute awesome grocery store there was a fight going on in the street. This guy was layin' on the horn at this lady who had stopped because there was an ambulance in the middle of the street ahead. There was another man trying to help because this guy was being such a jerk, but then the jerk got OUT of his car and started swearing at everyone. It was pretty scary >_<

Lalalaaaaaa...the boy will be home tomorrow. That'll be nice XD

Jobs

Hum. So I'm applying for jobs. I can set up an interview at a coffee place in the financial district and I'm waiting for this lady to call back about this job helping an autistic boy at summer camp. Either one would be sweet. *waits around*

In other news...

...

ok lol. There is no other news. I should go do something ;D

So close to the end!!!

Today Flipper helped me move to Frisco XD Most of my stuff from my dorm is now here in Scott's apt (exploded all over the other room...I dunno where we're going to put it all...). I forgot my pillow, though, which makes me sad. I'll have it in a couple days either way...

Unfortunately, the dishes are still playing Spore in the sink. I think they're almost up to the civilization level... o_o I went shopping and tried to buy things that don't require cooking. I'm going to get some almond butter somewhere and I managed to find blueberry jam sweetened with grape juice and not sugar :D I got hummus, guacamole, plain yogurt, cottage cheese, and a bunch of fruit. For dinner I'm having lean cuisine lemon pepper fish and broccoli with cheddar cheese. This is a CHOICE that I made. We'll see how it turns out. See, lately I remembered how we used to have fish sticks and mac 'n cheese for dinner when I was a little kid and I've been missing that. This is ALMOST the same...right? Probably we'll end up doing it for real later, but Flipper and I had pizza for lunch and I had pancakes 'n stuff for breakfast, so I'm sorta feeling like something healthy. Plain yogurt and strawberries IS SO TASTY O_O

It was a total pain getting all my stuff up here. We had to park three or four blocks away and walk UPhill. Yuck. I need a shower >_< After that, though, I need to review some history. I played Metal Gear Solid for a while this afternoon as a break, but I really do need to get down to some business.

(Bleh, I should've bought some aloe. I have a cute little sun rash on my arm v_v)

Tomorrow I need to study and I also want to maybe apply for some jobs. I'm supposed to have a resume, though...

(More bleh...)

Well, looks like my food is nearly cooked, so I'm off to take it out of the oven...

OH, and I heard from Scott today. He lives! :D

Run Around

This morning at the typical hour of 7:30ish I was released from my gentle slumber to set forth into the morning. Luckily, the dining hall was not operating on an off-day schedule, even though we had no classes, so I was able to breakfast on grapefruit (disappointingly tasteless today : /) and a bagel with pb and cream cheese (delicious, although I have run out of my natural pb, which I have grown to prefer over the regular variety.)

Then, it was off to the cardiologist. I had no idea how long it would take to amble over there so I gave myself quite a while. It was a nice, easywalk, and I actually arrived over a half hour early. To my elation, there was a cute little indie coffee joint right next door, though, so I spent a few of my excess moments there taking in the antiquey atmosphere and a mocha glacier (Yum :D but a bit too much ice...)

My appointment with the cardiologist took place on the second floor of a big medical center. Suite 14. It reminded me of going to the orthodontist as a kid, same sort of atmosphere. In fact, I would be there is a cardiologist at that center in Oconomowoc as well. In the waiting room I read some fairly boring magazine articles, but in the examination room they had all sorts of interesting posters with hearts and things. One of them explained ECP (external counterpulsion...I think that's what it stood for.) It's a non-invasive treatment to reduce angina...p-something... Anyways, what they do is basically pump air into these cuffs around your legs, which gets the blood flowing back up to your heart better. I guess the goal is to encourage the use of smaller routes rather than the main veins to keep the pressure off them or something? It seemed a little technical. Anyhow, you have to go for seven weeks and then you might be cured!

Finally the doctor's assistant came in and asked me a bunch of questions. He was very friendly. Then he left and I sat around for a while until the doctor himself showed up. He was very concise. Apparently I have a m-something (valve?) insufficiency "of no consequence." Sounds good to me :D I still have to come in for an ultrasound appointment, even though it's of no consequence and they even did an EKG which came out normal. The up side to this is that next time I will bring my camera and take pictures of the cool little coffee shop and anything else of interest along the way. The down side to this is the only time they could get me in is a week from today, which requires an extra nights stay in Stockton. I guess I'll survive. Unfortunately, the only train leaving after my appointment that day is at 2:30 in the afternoon, so I'll have to find something exciting to do until then.

After all that, I returned to campus where a friend and I had a tutor review with us for our math exam. It was VERY helpful. Now I feel like I at least understand everything. I just need to study to remember how to use all the formulas and whatnot. Should be fine.

Before my Japanese exam, I reprised the picnic the boy and I had the other weekend at the Summit, or at least the sandwich part. I could get all the same ingredients! It was very tasty. I think the exam went well. I'm glad I was able to take it early.

Right now I'm waiting until I can go pick up some things at the health center. I tried once already (after buying some grapes and getting sufficient cash back at the S-Mart,) but the lady wasn't there. Lots of running around today...

Things to Do
1. Laundry
2. Pack
3. Review
4. Relax

That doesn't SEEM difficult, but there are quite a few subitems and ways to break it down into infintismal tidbits.

Somehow it will all get done, and then tomorrow I can take off for a nice weekend before those last three tests :D

Too damn

COLD IN MY ROOM X_X ROWR!!!!!! V_V

An Uncharismatic Vent

Or at least any charisma there IS will be entirely on accident. I'm not aiming to please. I'm aiming to void my mind.

Soooo. I've come to the realization that I truly do not want to study for my exams. So much preparation! And then, the exams themselves! Hours of essays! Bleh! Tomorrow is Japanese, Monday is math, Tuesday is Lit and History. Then I am free!

FREE

So the boy called today from LA but I MISSED IT X_X Yesterday his phone was THE BUST so we couldn't talk and just had to content ourselves with chatting online. I'm afraid I complained RATHER a bit. I'm feeling frustrated. I'm sort of mad at myself, though, because I had been planning on just listening to how he was doing more because I know he's stressed out too.

*sigh*

Anyhow I hope he calls back, or is free when I try to call or something. It'd be so nice to talk today :D

What else...I have to walk to the cardiologist tomorrow and I really don't know how long it will take. Much less how long the appt will take, much less whether I will have time to do all that and be back in time for my Japanese test which I am totally being a pain in the neck about by taking it early (on a day when there is supposed to be no school >_<) I wish I could get a ride, but I dunno who to ask.

People stress me out sometimes. Sometimes the things they say are really bizarre and you wonder why they are talking about you in the first place.

Secondly, it is funny the way people's opinions of one differ so greatly. For example, I gave a speech: some said volume was good, others said to speak up; some said eye contact was great, others said i read too much. Some people say short hair suits me better but then five minutes later I have people telling me long hair suits me better.

I GIVE UP.

What else?

I dunno. I'm sick of feeling sick. I think the dining hall is maybe getting to me. Mostly though, it's these pills. My doctor said to just stick it out till I leave for Tokyo. What can I say to that other than, "ok?"

Ah, maybe more later. I'm being coerced into watching some weird youtube movie...

OH speaking of which. I started Densha Otoko today. I had no idea it was going to be so great!!! Awesome. I'm psyched.

And my sister liked the UV bracelet I got her *score*

Nattou attack!!

Today a milestone event occurred.

EMILY ATE NATTOU FOR THE FIRST TIME!

I can't say that I thoroughly enjoyed it, but I could manage. The smell didn't overly bother me and the taste wasn't sooooo bad. Tolerable with nori and rice. I dunno. It doesn't look as if I'll go out of my way to eat it, but I CAN, so that's good enough. Although it does appear to be helpful in preventing blood clots. That is useful...

:D

Anyhow, I guess that's about it for this morning. We ate that and doughnuts while watching Tony Takitani. Math class review earlier this morning was disappointing; didn't really cover what I would've liked. In fact, we didn't cover much at all. Oh well. Tomorrow is the last day of classes! Just gotta keep studying till this semester breaths it's last!!!! *rar*

The boy is at E3 now. I miss him lots. Of course, I missed him lots before he was down in LA, but you know what I mean. Hum hum hum. Think I'm gonna go get an orange...

Return of the Flipper (and various insecurities) + happy

We had coffee today at Java Aroma, and BIG TASTY CINNIMINIMIUMINUM BUNS XD

It was really nice to catch up. Spent most of the day doing that. No pix, though.

...

Man, for some reason, though, I have the munchies like mad today. Probably cuz I had too much sugar @_@ I feel kinda yucky, although that could be from my pills...

Kimi wa Petto episode five is my favorite one so far. So cute! So heart-wrenching! *wrench wrench* Do you think it's true that people are able to tell their pets they love them because they know their pets will never betray them?

Arrrrgh. I have to go to some mandatory dorm meeting. It's just end of the year crud we need to know...which is already posted all over every door and the mirror in the bathroom etc...

*sigh*

Hmm, I can tell I am worried about the way I ate this weekend. It's too bad. I can try to relax enough to just eat whatever, but then I feel bad later. It doesn't help that I just ate jelly beans. I just sorta felt like it, so I did. Probably not a good idea.

It's OK, though, right? I'll survive.

Had a nice phone call with the boy today, as usual. He's going to have a much busier week than me. *_*

Ah wellll, guess it's time for that meeting x_x

A Satur Sort of Day III

So, these are both pretty blurry pictures, but there's not much I can do about it. Try as I might, my digicam does not feel like focusing like that. Anyways, JD let me borrow some toys:


I was studying while he plays Kirby:CC. This kanji was really freakin' elusive:


I know you can't read it, but it's the one from 単語and the only way I found it was by guessing that the reading was "tango" which it is and then finding it in my kanji dictionary by the reading. For some reason SKIP was giving me a hard time. I should practice.

In other news, I've been watching more Kimi wa Petto. It's still cute. Sometimes I like some of that drama. You know? It's like the OC. I enjoyed that sometimes. Not Laguna Beach, though.

;p

A Satur Sort of Day II

QUACK QUACK!!!

Actually, I added those sound effects. He was just drinking:

So, first we went to my bank, and then we went to Target. I should've taken more pictures is basically what I'm saying, but I didn't so you'll have to deal with this half-assed feel. We ended up at the mall where we did fun stuff. I played Beatmania for the first time, but, of course, forgot to take a pic of that. Instead I have pix of JD playing single double on DDR 5th mix:




DDR is fun :D I even played some green feet. After the arcade we ate mall asian food, which I haven't had in a while, probably because there is so much BETTER ASIAN FOOD AROUND hahaha. Needless to say, I forgot to take a picture, and in any case it wouldn't fit here because google only allows you five pix per entry...

A Satur Sort of Day

This morning I took a shower:


Then JD and I took off (after a brief stop at the dining hall) for fun and games...and flowers:



QUACK!


To be continued...

Kanji Torment

Among other things. I'll post something cheerful later, but right now, I want to just cry a little bit about how I feel like I will never get this stuff down. I mean, really, how long does it take? What WORKS? How do I remember? HOW? Because though 就職came only a chapter or two ago, it was looking awfully foreign for a bit.

Doesn't really help that our prof is putting kanji on the exam that we didn't actually learn. AS IF WE DIDN'T LEARN A LOT.

...

*sigh*

It's ok. There are only a couple, and they are useful, so might as well try to memorize them.

TRY TO.

I don't even have the ones down that I was supposed to for this year. I really need some...divine kanji inspiration.

Or maybe I just don't study hard enough. People THINK I study an awful lot, but I really don't. I should work more on kanji, but I'm not sure what to DO.

Just writing them over and over helps, but only to a point. I'm not really one to make up silly stories, or whatever. That just seems like more to remember.

Hopefully in Japan my classes will be different. Maybe I'll learn some new strategies. Until then, I'll just work hard this summer reviewing and trying to learn new words to go with the kanji I know. That is also very frustrating, finding kanji that you "know" but don't know THAT particular reading. It's almost more a vocab issue than a kanji issue. Sometimes I'd rather treat it like that, but maybe the systematic kanji background is useful as well...

Hummmm...

Anyways...less rambling, more studying?

Omuraisu

Apparently this is Momo (from the Kimi wa Petto)'s favorite food. When I first heard of omuraisu, I wasn't sure I would be too enthusiastic about it because of the ketchup. I really don't like ketchup. Recently, though, I have been eating the school meatloaf, which has ketchup baked on top. Also, one time in Paris I remember they put ketchup on my hamburger, and even though I don't particular like it, it wasn't the same as when I was little and would refuse to eat it. Maybe now I have a tolerance for ketchup. Who knows? Perhaps I should dip a fry in sometime and see...

Nah x_x That's going too far. I will definitely try omuraisu though! Maybe Scott and I can try them together sometime. He's good at omlettes and I can manage rice! Together, we make...

OMURAISU XD

Kimi wa Petto

I'm totally in love with this show!!! It's so cute. So far, I've only see the first episode. It's my first Jdrama! I'm so happy ^_^

It's about this business lady who ends up keeping a mysterious homeless boy as a pet. Definitely check it out! XD

I love this so much.

Boy sopranos are amazing.

A meaningless sentence:

"The most interesting thing about Junichiro Koizumi is that he is interesting," and a JOURNALISM PROF said this?!? Even if you forgive him for being inarticulate in conversation (which I'm afraid, the majority of the general population, including myself, is), why would whoever wrote this article quote that part of the interview? lol The quote that follows is better, but wow, how silly.

kawaii ninja-san

Flavor of News

Yesterday I gave my presentation on compulsory education. Hopefully it wasn't too mind-numbing. I probably was a little too chronology-oriented. It was a little disconcerting to me that everyone else seemed to get away with just sorta talking about their bibliography. When I asked the professor what we should present about, he told me to talk about the TOPIC, not the resources. So I put together an overview of the history of compulsory education. Ah well.

This morning, there were supposed to be blueberry pancakes, but they were raspberry instead. Though I certainly would've enjoyed raspberry pancakes, I can be quite stubborn when I've decided what I want, so I settled on fake-blueberry flavored bagel with cream cheese and some grapefruit. They also had lemon poppyseed muffins, so I stole one to reward myself with after the math exam. Lots of fakey fruit.

I guess the test went ok. Hopefully. I feel like I did most of it right. There was one I had trouble with, but luckily when I asked her about it her vague tip managed to get my error to click. I think I fixed it right. Blah blah blah.

Today is the last day of Cross Cultural Training. Huzzah! The paper is done. I just have some obnoxious reading and exercises to do, and then, of course, I have to sit there for three hours : / Only three more hours though! We're coming out of it lol

I've been thinking about how I want to run my Tokyo blog lately. I can't do it the same way I do here, because here I just do it far too often haha. I was thinking maybe just once a week. That way I can really just focus on important things, include lots of pictures, and not spend SO MUCH TIME on it. Really, it's just a choice to spend this much time blogging. It does sort of help me relax though, so then I started thinking maybe just a for a little while each evening, instead of whenever I have time during the day. The idea is to minimize the time spent away from Japanese, while still retaining quality and the mental benefits of ranting.

This also got me thinking about e-mails and phone calls. I think the best solution will be to decide on a system, except for emergencies. That way, everyone will know what to expect, and I can avoid just calling when I'm bored and spending too much time speaking English.

In CCT, they mentioned a couple of times how jarring it can be to have someone visit you, or go home for a visit. They said it can sometimes throw people off. When I was in Paris and my dad visited, it didn't throw me off at all. I didn't feel worse afterword; it was overall just really nice to see him. The thing is, though, in Paris, I really didn't feel very immersed. Nothing was very intense. I wonder if Japan will be different.

Really though, I didn't much agree with what our teachers had to say about this sort of stuff. Like, one of them said she told people she would call once a month and prohibited anyone from visiting. That is pretty crazy. She mentioned that it's possible for friends to really change while you're gone and things to be very different relationship-wise, but I think that's only if you ignore people like she did. Specifically, I'm thinking about the boy. There is no way I'm cutting him off. Absolutely no way! And you can't tell me that if she would've had a serious boyfriend when she went that she would've cut him off. It's just ridiculous.

I think we just need to come up with a plan, so it's balanced, like I said above. That way, whether it's Scott or my family, everyone will know when to expect a call and we can all look forward to chatting.

Yeah, that was sort of long, but I guess it's really been on my mind. The whole thing is, obviously. It's probably too soon to be worried this much about those details. I have a tendancy to want to be prepared wayyyyy in advance, and sometimes that just is more stress and work than you need at one time. I have a whole brilliant summer coming up, including an awesome visit home and a lot of fun with the boy :D

Variations on a mop

I played with my hair a bit today.


This is what happens when you comb it down:


I always just end up going with the "original" mop.


And people wonder why I just chop it off XD

Yearning for the future...(just a little bit every now and then)

This guy is my hero. I want to be him when I grow up, only...as a girl, and me.

Never Fear

Victory is mine, bitches!!! XD


No, that's not really something I would say...

Uhm...

やった！

Much better lol

If you haven't guessed by now, I survived the preparing of my speech. It really was just a matter of getting down to it. Following that, I had a nice chat with the boy and then we parted ways to acquire our respective evening sustinances. Corn pops. Yum. There is healthy cereal at his house, but in the school grocery one can only buy sugar. (Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm not kidding. OH WAIT...they have salt, too ;p) Nah, I do like corn pops, but I've gotten used to cereal that provides hardcore whole grains which is definitely not a strength of the sugar genre.

*cough cough cough*

Anyways, I'm off to game and sleep and all that nonsense XD

Progress Thus Far...

Now, really, the project is done. I'm just a little worried about the afterthought of a speech I have to give tomorrow. It's probably more that I don't want to do it than that I can't, though. Maybe.

x_x

The Mid-Afternoon-Should-Be-Studying Round Up

There is a banana on my desk that I would really like to eat, but it's for later, so I'm gonna try to hold out for another couple hours till dinner where it looked like there was gonna be some meaty pizza. Getting sausage on your pizza in the dining hall is so tricky! Gotta take advantage!

This past weekend I took my sniffles on a train trip to Frisco to visit the wonderful boy. It was a last minute switch. Originally the plan was for him to journey out this way, but circumstances being as they were (and generally just are,) it was more feasible for me to go there. Of course, it was no problem for me. I'd much rather see him than sit in my dorm all weekend.

In fact, the only real difficulty I had with the situation (aside from being sick and coughing a lot) was the bus system. NO THANKS TO THE SAN JOAQUIN RTD, I somehow got to the Amtrak station. Getting back was even more torturous, as all the friends I would've hoped could've bailed me out of a lousy neighborhood were busy when I arrived. I stood for about 20 minutes or so on the corner and watched the locals loiter on the sidewalk, in the middle of the street, etc, but when it started to get dark(er) I headed downtown. Spent a while on the phone with various people trying to get directions home, and by the time I got anywhere (the downtown City Center) I was pretty hungry. Grilled salmon, steamed broccoli and asparagus, and brown rice will make anyone feel better, I think, unless maybe you are allergic. By that time I was able to get a ride, although not without disturbing a busy dorm-mate : / She didn't seem to think it was a very good idea for me to be wandering about in the dark, and I have to agree with her.

Anyhow, the travel time was boring for the most part. Being with the boy was great though. We had a picnic at the office and played The Outfit. I did nazilicious things with guns and tanks. It was probably one of the best picnics ever. We had this tasty salami sandwich on the way in a park with all sorts of happy ingredients like pickles, which are one of those things I am newly able to appreciate (although I'm still not a fan when they are warm, like in a burger or something...) Then we had potato salad and cheese tortellini salad as well as a bottle each of Moxie and crazy Strawberry Crush. And funny candy! It was ultimate. And there was a couch! (at the office ne...in the demo room.)

Leaving is always sad, but the amazing thing is that the next time I go, it will probably be to stay. I mean, unless we get really impatient and I drop by in a couple weeks.

Been getting back into some of my other DS games lately, which is fun. Blogging about that at 1Up. Still sick. Got an A on my Jlit paper. Had my Japanese oral exam today. Basically just chatting for a bit. I'm a very shy speaker, though. Comprehension is decent, reading is pretty good, writing is pretty good (all for my level of course) but my speaking is...sort of non-existent. That's why I'm going to Japan, ne?

I managed to easily waste the majority of this afternoon. I printed out a couple papers, but that was pretty much it. Gotta work on math, read some Jlit, and most importantly *threatening music bite* FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M SAYING IN MY PRESENTATION TOMORROW x_x

x_x is right. That is my evening in a nutshell.

Not looking forward to it at all.

Not one bit.

Gah.

The other way down Pacific

Today I had to go to Target to refill my Lexapro, so I took the opportunity to capture some fantastic images of this direction of Pacific Ave.

Ah, yes...this looks...desolate. You kinda get used to it though : /


Here you can see Burns Tower (at UOP) from a distance:


This is a good bit of strip mall. Tiger's Yogurt does pretty awesome frozen yogurt and Sakura Grocery is the local Japanese store. They're actually celebrating a year of existance this weekend.


Thrilling, I know. Just makes everyone want to hop on a plane and come visit, right? Personally, I prefer the Cocoro/Java Aroma direction of this street.

The promised pix

Scene from my desk top this fine afternoon:


What I do when I'm done with the test before everyone else:

They joked that the big middle one was my brain and all the little surrounders were kanji ^_^;; Not true, but sorta cute. I like doodling things like this.

Japanese class. I snapped this while they were all still working on the test:

Stuff on my Cat

Honestly, the website is kinda silly. By that I mean, it's not really that funny. Some of the more creative ones are nifty, but most of it is just throwing...stuff...on their cats...

...

Yeah, but CHECK OUT THIS T-SHIRT!!! The Cartoon Stack is amazing. I think I seriously want that. Not because I'm the biggest fan of the website, which I found only today, but because that shirt is beautiful.

Yes, beautiful.

Oh

I lost my copycard too. That sucks. I hope there wasn't a lot of money on there. It will probably turn up at some point...long after I need to print stuff. That makes me sad. I wonder if they will still be using the same system when I come back from Tokyo...

I'll post again later. I took a pic of Japanese class today during the test, and the doodle I doodled while waiting for everyone else to finish.

It hurts when I swallow : /

Dissolving things make throats happy, ne. So, I had this sucker that was thrust at me in February (pretty red heart-shaped sucker) with an advertisement attached: "Is your [little red heart drawing] set on a career or internship? Your Future Is Now! Career Faire [sic] March 2nd, 2006 11am-3pm Grace Covell Dining Hall." I didn't go. I did eat the sucker just now, though. It reminded me of being a kid in the backseat going through the drive-thru window at the bank. Sometimes we got Smarties, but most of the time we were given suckers, the kind with the rope instead of the stick. I think I like sticks better, because they don't get quite as sticky and mushy as the rope did. Or maybe I am just a more talented sucker-eater now. Kids sometimes get all drooly, but adults can reign in their spit. That must be the difference.

My throat is still sore.

Movie, anyone?

Today both of my classes consisted primarily (or entirely) of watching movies. Not documentaries, either. In JLit we were watching When a Woman Ascends the Stairs, a Japanese movie from 1960 and in JHist we're watching Nobody Knows (which I've ranted about previously). All in all, it made the day pretty surreal. I did get a lot done this morning, though. Maybe tonight I will work ahead in my schedule for the week.

Ooh, can't forget to do laundry, though.

I've been listening to some of the music from Samurai Champloo today. Somehow, I thought it would be better.

Hmm...

Ok, I guess I didn't really have all that much to say haha XD

Yummmmm!

Why didn't I get to do this when I was a little kid?? : /

Took the plunge

So I just drank my first glass of this concoction. (Watch out for the scary lady's voice on that website...) I had the lemon-lime flavor, which I heard was better than orange. Any claims that it tastes like 7-up are completely false, although it is like drinking SOME kind of healthy 5 calorie soda due to the fizz. I really hope I don't get sick. What with all my projects being do next week, and the boy hopefully visiting this weekend, it would be a really lousy time to catch something.

Luckily the nearby grocery store carried the stuff. I called ahead, so I wouldn't have ended up walking there for nothing. Don't need to be running about if I feel like I'm getting a cold. Paid about seven dollars for 10 tablets.

The whole reason I wanted to try it was NOT because of Oprah, although the fact that it was on Oprah does give me some extra comfort, not because Oprah likes it, but because I don't think the teachers who have been constantly recommending it would really feel like having anything to do with Oprah if they could help it and they STILL love the stuff. Seriously, almost every week they bring it up and tell us to pack a lot of it when we go abroad (our Cross Cultural Training teachers.) They really swear by the stuff.

I'm just sort of amused that it says on the package to repeat as needed every three hours. Ostensibly, you could just take it your entire life. The package says to take it when going into schools or gyms or pretty much anywhere there are people. Sorta overkill.

I wonder if it will work : /

Japan in a Nutshell Vol. 1

I found this string bound book at the library among all the other culture books. The cover is fabric coated paper and the pages are printed in that way where the really thin paper is folded in half and then bound (so you can have two sided pages and the ink doesn't soak through.) This volume covers religion, "culture," and popular practice. (Last time I checked religion and popular pratice both count as "culture," but ok.) It's like an encyclopedia of Japanese pratices, festivals, beliefs, etc. Pretty nifty. Feels nice to hold in your hand. Smells old :D It's from 1949.

Shingo Mama!!!

This song is a happy memory :D I had never seen any clips until I thought to look on youtube. Speaking of which, Watashi to Tokyo linked to Popee the Performer videos the other day. Sometimes a little immature, and also violent, but often amusing as hell XD

The reluctant march

I've been wanting to grab a pic of this for a long time. It would've been more poignant on one of those rainy days where everyone had umbrellas and looked even MORE unhappy to be on their way to math and science classes at ten to eight in the morning. I don't know who that girl is.

I can finally show everyone :D

Best keitai charm ever! XD

覚えなくちゃいけない

A:　彼の著書はいつもほめられるね。
B:　まあね。とぶ鳥も落とすいきおいだからね。今の彼の人気は。
A:　文も分かりやすいし、みんなから受け入れられやすいテーマの作品だからね。
B:　そうだね。一度も悪く言われたことがないよね。

A:　あ、もしもし。お母さん？　うん、今日残業で遅くなるから。
B:　じゃ、あなたの夕食はいらないの？
A:　うん、ぼくのはいいよ。みんな先に食べて。
B:　お父さんも遅いって言うから。あなたのも、お父さんのもいらないってことね。じゃ、私たち外食しましょう。

Trying not to feel guilty

Sorry, I realize this is a horrible pic:



I had breakfast! I had a LOT of breakfast @_@ It was tasty. Pancakes, eggs, and ham. Also coffee. Lots. For some reason I could just eat breakfast forever.

Anyhow, this is a great place. Service was excellent. They offer you a newspaper while you wait :D Supposedly their burgers etc are tasty, too. They do Chinese and American food.

I wanted to get a pic of the sign on the wall that said, "FRIED WIENERS $4.95," just to be immature for a moment. It was just hanging out on the wall in block letters. There were guys sitting over there, though, and I didn't want them to think I was taking their picture.

Shoot...

I forgot to take a pictue of my meatloaf. I'm going to try to get meal shots once in a while. I cherish this one:



Other Emily took that on her last day in Paris. That's her food at the Crous. Memories *sniff* It's really too bad I didn't have my digicam back then. In Japan it will be so sweet to be able to take pics. I'm glad I'm getting the hang of it.

Anyhow, remember that stack of books? I got through them ALL. No, I didn't read them, but I wrote the bibliography entries with info about what to expect from them (i.e. what I was supposed to do.) Somehow I have to come up with five more pages of stuff for this project, though. I need three thesis ideas and a summary of the topic, but I dunno if I can get five pages out of that. I guess it's really only two and a half (yay double spacing @_@) so maybe it's possible. I might also look for a couple articles on school refusal syndrome and ijime. That'll round it out right, I think.

I hope I'm doing it right.

Haha.

Anyhow I think I'm going to leave that for tomorrow. I've done a lot today. Now I can study some kanji (which I didn't do at Java Aroma, since I socialized with Marc) and read some more NP. I think I'm going to find more of Banana Yoshimoto's stuff as part of my massive summer reading program lol.

XD

Coffee Excursion

I went with my friend Marc (and we stopped for photo-ops on the way.)


This is a...I think the boy and I decided it should be termed a "housewares store." They sell toilets, doorknobs, bathtubs, and lamps, among other things, such as mirrors. I was worried we would get kicked out for taking pictures. Couldn't really get the lighting right. Turned out kinda blurry and bleh. They sell wall mounted toilets here, which I think is a pretty good idea. You can actually keep the floor clean that way! No trying to mop around the tank.


Best coffee place I've been to in Stockton (which is not to say I get around:)


We chill. The interweb is free for customers. Good music is played.

My weekend thus far

Essentially...



I look so studious...



This is a pretty good book so far:


In fact, I can say that it is quite an enjoyable read. I'm looking forward to continuing. Sort of reminds me of Murakami, in a way. Very fresh, creative stuff. *sparkle*

Ok, that's not ALL I've been doing, but honestly, it has been the greater part. At least I'm accomplishing things. Eating and watching the news aren't too much more thrilling. I think I might head out for some coffee and kanji...

Updated Links

Everyone please note that I've added a bunch of new links. I didn't include EVERYTHING, but I did put up quite a lot. Fun stuff! ^_^ Informative stuff! :D Happy stuff! XD

MINT BROWNIES!!!

Yeah, I wanted to wait until I uploaded the pic. This is seriously the best thing the dining hall has come up with. I ate one yesterday and grabbed another one to save for today (which has already been savored.) Since there need to be more of these in the world, and since I didn't get to share with the boy, I went searching for a recipe. This looked pretty close to what the dining hall had. I bet they're even better XD

I must have these.

When have I ever said that about a pair of shoes? I sound like a total girl. For Marathon Tabi, though, I will. These are too cool.

Killer sandwich (Thanks, Marc)

Almond butter and blueberry preserves, yes sir.

On sourdough, oddly. However, I think whole grain would perform better.

ALMOND BUTTER!!

BLUEBERRY!!

Love and sparkles.

Pix

You'll notice I've started posting some pix. Obviously I really have no idea what I'm doing. Just sorta slapping them in. Really though, it's just taking the time to change the quality of the pix, dump them on my comp, resize them, and get them in a folder. Once they're THERE, it's not so much work to use them.

I would say probably the easiest way to see the most of my pix is on facebook, but I also have a flickr account (CompanyHalt). In addition to that, there is always myspace, but I don't put up much there aside from something recent of me. Facebook is nice because it's so easy, the way they allow you to make albums and stuff. It's just simple, and I love their uploading tool. I should probably work on getting more up on Flickr, since anyone can go there.

...

Yeah.

Anyhow, hopefully there will be more photos coming, but rarely in sync with the actual post. I'll put in a parenthetical note if I have pix to add later though...

That's so lame lol.

420?

So, this has to be a joke, right? Sheesh. Kinda crazy though, because there IS a housing seal on it. A friend of mine was speculating that maybe it's a way to get the high people to turn themselves in. Apparently it's a pretty big problem on campus in the bigger dorms. I'm so glad I'm in Jessie B, much less crazy. You hear about drug and alcohol write-ups from other places. I've never even BEEN to Grace. In fact, I don't even know where it is. Maybe that is a good thing.

Weather

I just thought I should mention that I finally felt like I was in "California" again today. It was sunny and hot and everything smelled nice. What a great day! Two of my three classes were outside, just discussion. Anyhow, it's quite a nice change from the dreary rain and chill.

Feeling vaguely...

disgusted by the nastiness masquerading as some sort of half-assed apple crisp. The fact that it LOOKED half-assed should've probably cued me in that it would be pretty horrible, but I was nonetheless taken in by its promise of actual fruit. Could've just eaten an APPLE, Emily. I mean, come ON. I'm tempted to make up for the displeasure with chocolate, but instead I think I'll settle for brushing my teeth. I have new vanilla mint toothpaste.

So, to be honest, most of miffed-ness I'm experiencing here is due to the fact that I had chocolate soy milk this afternoon and that was SUPPOSED to suffice as far as excess sugar goes today. It's a double slap to the face when your cheating dessert is yucky.

Then the next question is why do I feel the need to address this HERE? Because obviously I do. Is this a healing process? Wait...I'm supposed to do some exercise thing from my therapist at times like these. How perfect...would you like to experience it with me? Let's; it'll be a joy, I'm sure:

Date/Time: Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 7:01 pm

Situation: Ate extra dessert. It was yucky.

Automatic Thoughts: BAD! Failure. Double slap to the face (illicit and icky) You can't keep eating this way or you will gain weight and you already look weird enough (The problem with assigning number values to these things still seems pretty impossible to me. I'm supposed to say how much I believe these things at the time. Of course, when you think them, they are the rule, but if you pick it apart you can TELL yourself that no no no, don't over react blah blah blah...we'll say 100% I said I wasn't going to have any more dessert and I did. That IS a complete lack of will power. FACT! 100%)

Emotions: disappointed (30%), angry (10%), dissatisfied (cuz it was yucky) (30%), stupid (10%), worried (20%)

Adaptive Response: I'm not good at this. Note how my automatic thoughts also happen to be CORRECT. Let's see though... Ok, first of all, one of the questions is, "What is the effect of believing th eautomatic thought?" I guess we know the effect is that I wig out about food and lose weight until doctors tell me to gain weight. That wasn't fun or healthy really. I think too much about this stuff. Maybe that is another automatic thought, ne. (100%) "What could be the effect of changing my thinking?" Well, see, for a while it was really easy to justify eating whatever I wanted cuz I was TRYING to gain weight. If I had extra dessert it didn't MATTER so much. Of course, stressing this much, as has been pointed out, is JUST AS BAD AS THE STUPID DESSERT. But ok, the effect now, of saying, TO HELL WITH IT, would be...well, maybe I would gain weight. I do believe that, but I'm not happy about that. (100%) "What's the worst thing that could happen? Could I live through it? What's the best thing that could happen? What is the most realistic outcome?" See, I'm really really good at finding bad things. Theoretically, I COULD just keep gaining weight and end up with heart disesase and dying a horrible death. An airplane could also crash into my dorm room and crush me right now. (That was Donny Darko, not 9/11...if anyone...was confused...) I wouldn't live through THAT haha. But no, really, I AM worried about it because I don't want this to be a bad habit. I don't want an unhealthy lifestyle. Ne? That sounds reasonable, I think, but others would maybe disagree. So the best thing? There is no best thing. This is me, having eaten too much dessert that tasted bad. There is NOTHING good about that. I didn't even enjoy it!!! One questions my motivation for continuing to eat it... In fact, I did only eat about 2/3 of it. Why? Collapse of COMMON SENSE. Slave to the decision. I have this thing where sometimes I make a decision and then I really have to go through with it. Sometimes I need to be more flexible. Maybe I can apply that to the dessert thing too, in which case I could say that I just "changed my mind" about having only chocolate soy milk for the day. Even so, changing one's mind to allowing cake with every meal is not acceptable and while that's not something I would be likely to DO, it would sure taste good, ne? Wouldn't we all enjoy cake? Rarrrrr. The other thing is that I wasn't supposed to have dessert YESTERDAY and I did. This is an everyday sort of battle. So it seems that I really do just need to totally CHANGE what I accept, but what does my BODY accept? I DO NOT WANT TO BE UNHEALTHY!!!! AGHHHHH. Random number time: (100%) That goes for the hesitation and doubt found here as well. Let's continue though...

Outcome: I still believe my automatic thoughts... "Changing my mind" would be a cop out. Current emotions now include self-hatred (10%) for wanting to cop out and relax the rules, in addition to all the other things. "What will you do?" I will...quit thinking about it? Dwelling on things never helps.

---

That will SO not all fit in the little boxes I'm supposed to fill out. It was also not helpful. Maybe I do it wrong. I'm probably not supposed to think NEARLY as much.

Uhm...

I found a cute website. I'm actually going to cite it in my research paper. It's so adorable and helpful.

---

Today, while I was eating the HEALTHY part of my dinner, Scott's coat called me, as it frequently does. I think it's cute. It caught me with a mouthful. At first I couldn't hear because of all the people and trying to chew discretely, but then I realized it was just pockety noises. Awww.

---

Time to go watch Democracy Now!.

ORRRRR NOT...as the page refuses to load. That is distressing. And yes, everyone, I realize that I will need to add some MORE sources to my news collecting endeavors. This is a STEPPING STONE. Errrrg. In the meantime I will go read this, or maybe I should just do homework...

Blahhhh...

How could I forget the opium den? (plus nostalgia)

Why I don't bring my camera with me to these places is really a question for the ages. I always forget. Speaking of which, I hope that Herbie bug is still parked in the lot outside. I should run out there...

Anyhow, yeah, on Saturday Scott and I ended up in this museum of old clockwork dioramas and coin-op pic shows and video games. Some of the the stuff was pretty creepy and most of it was ancient. There was one big carnival one, and a village with (probably) slaves that looked like zombies : / The opium den though, what would possess someone to make an opium den? I wonder what it did. This place is actually pretty sweet; entrance is free, but to REALLY see anything you need a pocketful of change. We mooched, it was great :D

----

I was checking out Watashi to Tokyo and found some links to interesting ads and I CAN'T GET THE HYPERLINK TO FORMAT RIGHT SO GRRRRAHHAFSDKFJLSKFJ. The EDF one made me miss Paris. I used to see this all the time in movie theaters. They have a good ten minutes or so of commericals before the previews even start. Some of them were pretty creative.

http://smt.blogs.com/mari_diary/2006/04/great_tv_ads_of.html

In the future, let's not substitute peanut m&ms for actual sustinance, but work towards a more balanced, healthy meal everday!!! *justice sparkle*

Why didn't I just go to the Summit? I could've had some salad or something, instead of MORE sugar. >_< I did have a pbanana dog, but that really didn't do much. Recourse to candy is never the answer! We have learned!

To escape the saccharine sarcasmic charm of my fake Japanese signposts-- wait. Let's not esape; let's remain a bit longer. I wonder if it is tasteless. Does anyone think it is? Does it seem malicious? Am I being racist? Honestly, I really love that stuff, those signs that make you feel like there is a big benevolent J-mommy somewhere in the sky looking after you. I really DO think of those sweet, motivational words when I have a made a mistake, or at least I try to. It's a lot better than saying something like, "Dammit, you loser. Why did you eat candy when a salad was a quick walk away? You already had cookie today! And all sorts of stuff! You didn't even need THAT!! *hate hate hate hate hate*"

Errr...yeah I think I just did that anyhow.

"Hey, everyone! From now on, let's try to actually avoid the things we are trying to avoid instead of pointing them out and thus zooming in painfully on something better hit over the head and fed to the pigs! :D"

I suppose on the one hand, it CAN get a bit patronizing. If I get cruel and feel a little sarcasmic (Am I the only one who thinks this is a pretty nifty sub for "sarcastic?") I could end up being just as mean, but I guess it's more fun? And in that one, I WAS mean to the evil and not myself.

On the other hand, sunshine and bunnies.

---

I should clean my room.

---

Happy Easter?

Another brilliant weekend with the boy. Perhaps you could all tell that last week was taking it's toll SECOND by SECOND on me. I was a bit burnt out.

"This week let's work hard and do our very best to keep churning out paragraphs of not too horrible academic quality papers!"

(Enough already...)

He even let me take his picture today. A rare occasion indeed. He picked up some fun games on a wander we took Saturday down to the wharf, including the ever-goofy We <3 Katamari, because, yes, We do. Other highlights are the journey to the Ihop, my introduction to Big Trouble in Little China, Piraat Pizza, a romp through a toy store, Farcry (unfortunately without mad monkey skillz at that point)in the demo room at 1Up (on Easter Sunday, word!), all of these things--AND MORE (like the BEST BURRITOS EVER!!!) lol XD We always find lots of fun stuff to do. Granted we could be (and often are) sitting on the floor in his living room doing nothing and THAT is fun, so...we pretty much roxxor, I think.

---

I just looked at this week's "D-hall" menu, and let me just get my complaining done now: it doesn't look good.

---

Yes, I think this is just what happens when left to my own devices. You know, my devices are ok! There is nothing wrong with them! I am so quick to berate myself for the slightest infraction (and let's remember that the fact that there are such things as "infractions" speaks VOLUMES : /) LOOK AT ME TRYING TO KEEP THINGS UPBEAT! LOOK! LOOK!

Nah, it's cool. And hey, I don't mind sounding like a silly girl, pep-talking myself (and err...the world) in my blog. It actually does feel pretty good. I'm not a loser! Whoo! The fact that my brain senses a contradiction at times, and demands to be heard on the contrary, DOES NOT MEAN that I won't eventually win.

Let me expound briefly on tomorrow's plans, for I do, indeed, plan, though they are often changed, or simplified, or crossed out in angry pen strokes. TOMORROW (!!), I INtend to Attend two of two classes, both two hours long. I would like to have the reading finished. I also have some appts to keep and some another thrilling UNESCOlicious source to peruse for my bibliography. That wasn't very detailed, but it was...fun? lol

---

I think there is something pinched in my neck that manages to hurt all the way down my right arm. Isn't anatomy fascinating?

---

Behold, Emily, Queen of the modern zuihitsu! (as if the entire rest of the planet doesn't ramble in their blogs about whatever comes to mind...)

---

O, love and sparkles!

One month to go

I made it through the rest of the week somehow. It wasn't fun or pretty, but I did it. I even managed to get some stuff done, although not as much as really should've been done. Anyhow, I'm in Frisco now, and quite happy about it. I may end up avoiding the Greyhound again. A friend from the dorms dropped me off at the BART station on her way home, and I might be able get picked up there by another friend for the way back.

If I can get some Japanese and reading done this weekend, that will be good. I brought some worksheets, my history textbook, and Kenzaburo Oe's A Personal Matter. Scott had pulled an all nighter at work, so he sacked out early, which gave me time to get caught up on my history reading and watch the news.

Anyhow, *ramble ramble*, I guess I don't really have much to say. I've been using my 1UP blog to talk about video games. That doesn't mean I have a hell of a lot to SAY about them though.

Haha.

I'm gonna go read ;p

Today's Compromise

Well, I didn't go to Japanese. In fact, I slept and listened to Frank Zappa. However, I did take a shower and finish my workbook on time for my CCT interview.

I also heard back from my study abroad advisor. (Yes, Virginia...)

I think instead of trying to find people going to San Francisco, I just need to find a ride to the Greyhound. If I can just resign myself to the inevitability of a nasty bus ride, it will be much better. I can sleep or play video games or something.

Ok, so that was a couple compromises of various sorts, I guess. And some random things. And...

A Tale of Unexpected Happiness:

For our CCT interviews, we were told to "look nice." The "nice"ness of my clothes I have with me on campus is not renowned, or even purported. In other words, I don't really have any "nice" clothes. I have some non-scrubby casual things though, so I did ok. Actually, I was sort of cheating. Generally, looking "nice" involves clean (i.e. unworn since the last wash) clothes, at least in my experience. Today, however, I wore something previously worn over the weekend with Scott. Happily, it smells very much as Scott would smell were he to be here at this moment. I am inclined to lie in my room all afternoon wearing the shirt as a mask. Maybe it will increase my seretonin levels :D Unfortunately, the experiment is not to occur; I have CCT in less than an hour and a couple chapters of reading to get done beforehand >_<

I was so going to watch cartoons, too... (Oh well : /)

Today has utterly defeated me.

I feel horrible.

I thought maybe I had a ride for this weekend, but that has fallen through. Food was a mess. I have no will to accomplish anything. Actually, I did for a bit. The one thing productive thing I could bring myself to do was look for jobs. I found a great-sounding one, was trying to slap together a resume, and was maybe even POSSIBLY succeeding, when in another window (damned multi-tasker that I am) a PDF froze the whole computer and I lost everything. If I barely had the will to do it once, I sure don't now.

I want to go curl up in bed and cry instead of:

doing my math homework
memorizing some pointless (yes, pointless) Japanese dialogue
worrying about "non-digitalized passport photos"
writing about Japan's economy
reading the rest of the TODAY'S reading assignment for history
working on my annotated bibliography
figuring out what kind of insurance I need to get for Japan
asking in vain if anyone knows anyone going to Frisco on Friday
re-typing the resume e-mail
wondering if my study abroad advisor will ever call me back (or if he exists)
pretending to be trying to get something done
listening to more net radio
eating the pear on my dresser
taking a shower
blogging...

but I guess I shouldn't.

I really don't feel up to anything right now though. I feel like the best I can do is fall apart and maybe get it together tomorrow. This is not to say that things will actually come together. Tomorrow is Wednesday. That just means it's one day closer to the day where everything has to be right and it's still all wrong.

It's not ALL wrong.

Good things for today:

...

Ok, I'm trying.

Oh, we watched Drunken Angel in JLit today and it wasn't as boring as the other movies. I actually enjoyed it. That doesn't mean that I was in a movie-watching mood, nor does it mean that I wasn't antsy and wanting to leave, but it was a worthwhile film, anyhow.

Food just made me mad today, so we're going to avoid that.

Uhm...

I got a box from my mom! Most of it is things I shouldn't have until Easter, but I opened it up for the Studio Ghibli movies. (They jibble...) There is a LOT of candy (all very very good candy, probably the most well-rounded Easter basket in all history,) a toothbrush (which makes me wish I hadn't bought one yesterday), some lip stuff, and my new shoes. I tried the shoes on, and they look pretty girly, perhaps a little too much for my wardrobe even. I always get really attached to the shoes I wear, though, so I think my initial reaction is always somewhat negative, no matter how cool the new ones are. They are blue and orange.

I listened to Ellis CDs.

I'm in love with my boyfriend (and we'll assume, to keep with the "good things" theme, that he's still in love with me.)

C'mon, one more...there has to be something...

If all else fails, I'm still HERE, but there has to be something specific. Today wasn't really all that bad until a few hours ago...

Oh, I watched the news again. I'm proud of myself. I really do think I will be able to stick with it.

Allow me, though, to say that I'm frustrated by the fact that I feel like I'm spending my time more productively watching the news and reading the internet than doing schoolwork.

Ok, but that was negative and it paved the way for all these other things. It's like they're massing at the gate, "Yuck, and it rained most of the day. I have a stomach ache again. I miss the boy. I don't want to do anything etc etc etc"

Makes me feel like I need to start over with the good things again.

*sigh*

Ellis

Remember how I practically dragged myself out the door last night? I was so reluctant to go out again. I was tired, had work to do, didn't feel like I would get into "some random woman singer."

I'M SO GLAD I WENT.

It's true that I don't usually get into female voices, but hers really got me. I was completely involved the moment I sat down. Her music was so emotion-filled. Happy songs made me genuinely happy, and the sad ones almost had me crying. Her stage presence was overwhelming. Maybe it sounds weird coming from me, but she was so beautiful up there singing her heart out. She also told great stories in between songs. Had us all practically falling out of our chairs with crazy laughter!

I picked up a couple CDs. They were out of the t-shirt I wanted, but hopefully I'll be able to get it through the website. She also had this great scheme to discourage CD burners: a sampler! For only five dollars you get six songs off of various CDs of hers. I got one for my sister. I think both her and my mom will like it.

It's too bad I won't be in Milwaukee for PRIDE in June. Everyone should go! I really wish I could. Anyhow, I'm glad I got to meet her and hear her sing. The last song she did unplugged on the floor with us, since by the end of the show only a few hardcore PRIDE alliance people were left.

Oh, and as an interesting consequence of the evening I ended up watching Democracy Now (after linking to it from her website) and getting some news. I think I can definitely make a habit of that. That was pretty easy. It's probably better to start with simple commitments :D Increase the liklihood of success!

留学生

This evening we performed our highly anticipated Japanese skit "Ryuugakusei" ("The Exchange Student") for a packed Bechtel Center. The basic plot is that Ben has just arrived at his new school (Emily High School) and believes he's embarking on a magical friendship odyssey. Little does he know that the cool kids really just want to beat him up and his teacher is an ex-yakuza hired by his sister, the principal (that's me,) to keep the students in line.

I would say things went pretty well. No lines were bungled too horribly and even though I couldn't keep a straight face for the unrolling of our "mind-reading" Japanese communication scroll (to faciliate understanding in the audience), I'd say I did an ok job. The fight choreography came off decently as well. Hopefully we made it worthwhile to sit through the entire program (nearly two hours.)

Other highlights included my friend, Lex, being awarded best Japanese student, the Russian skit (Oh, how I miss Russian...), and seeing a couple of my former classmates sing the Chinese national anthem.

I'm hoping that the pictures taken of Max and Paolo as tough guys make their way to my inbox, so maybe I will be able to update later :D

As for right now, even though I have things to do I should probably throw on my PRIDE shirt and catch part of the Ellis concert.

Much better

i.e. How I feel after a weekend with Scott.

After a seemingly interminable Friday afternoon I eventually stepped into my Japanese professors little red car and we took off for San Francisco. It was rainy, and, as usual, coming up on Frisco was more like driving into a weather formation than a city: big dark cloud. For some reason traffic was pretty congested, but it was still a hell of a lot faster than the bus, so I was happy.

Upon arrival, he showed me around his hotel (since I'm scoping places for my mom's proposed vacation later this summer,) and then told me to meet him again Sunday for the return trip at four. Then I proceeded to walk up hills in the rain, which wasn't so awful as it may sound. I was just happy to be in Frisco on my way to the boy's apt, regardless of how much water my pants were absorbing or how loudly my feet were squelching.

Once Scott trudged up, equally soaked, and hugged me, the weekend settled for the most part into a nice period of easy happiness. I finally got to see Scott's new toy (Sidekick II...very fancy.) We went back to the Indian restaurant where we first had dinner together, watched cartoons, had ironic Japantown Denny's, shopped, walked around everywhere in the weather that had obviously been saved up all week, and just had a good time in general. Sunday morning was donuts and Howl's Moving Castle. We made tacos for lunch and tried to play a weird war game commanding squads around. So much good stuff! Even leaving wasn't so hard, because I know I'll be back this Friday one way or another :D

Last night I managed to get a little more done on my annotated bibliography. I still have no idea how I'm going to stretch it to fiften pages. It's getting longer, anyhow. Right now I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be doing Japanese homework, so I'd better get to it! I really wanted to get something down about the weekend though. I don't think I quite captured the constant ELATION involved, but hopefully if you know me, you can picture me in a good mood.

I was in a really good mood.

And his HAIR! (So cute! :D)

nerg

I'm worrying about random crap instead of accomplishing things. I wish it were midnight.

For some reason I'm a chocolate freak today. I had chocolate milk to try to counteract the badness of lunch, but that wasn't enough I guess. "Luckily" I have M&Ms.

: /

It's ok.

Anyhow, the plan is to pack and shower and maybe try to read some crud...make some copies...blah blah blah...

I'm in a stupid mood, which is lame because I should be HAPPY, cuz I'm finally going to go see the boy again.

I AM happy about that. Everything else just seems lousy I guess.

Ah well, at least I have something good.

A little insecure maybe...

Just remembered a dream I had the other night. It was about this four year old kid. He could barely pronounce everything right, probably had trouble with his "r"s or something, but he was talking about politics or something. Telling me who would be voting for in the next election or something.

*sigh*

I am horribly uninformed. It's like I was talking to a Japanese stock broker the other night, and he was saying he's worried about the US economy. Thinks inflation will start. Something about FRB and FF rates. ?_? I "hmm"ed at him.

*SIGH*

I gotta keep reading this article ha...

Anyhow, popped into my head was all. The genius kid smarter than me. At least I wasn't babysitting him.

I am a SLACKER

No, I'm just taking it EASY for a bit. lol That's right...sure...

Yeah, this morning I got pretty caught up in www.vocalgroupcosmos.com and consequently did my Japanese homework during the first five minutes of class, didn't get any reading done, etc.

Now this afternoon it seems I am being just as productive.

FOR SHAME!!!!

Hmm, for some reason I feel there should've been more to say here. I mean, why would I post just to berate myself for screwing around all morning?

Did I already moan about not getting paid anymore?

And library fines?

LET'S NOT COMPLAIN :D LET'S FIND THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT TODAY AND SMILE :D

How about the fact that CCT is ONLY THREE HOURS of my life wasted and after that I can look forward to doing MOUNTAINS of HISTORY HOMEWORK. Ok, not mountains. SEE? THEY'RE NOT MOUNTAINS! THAT'S AWESOME...

...

I did have one of those insta-death seven layer bars today. The puritans would've said it was THE DEVIL'S DESSERT. Those things are sin incarnate. HOW CAN IT TASTE SO GOOD WHEN IT'S SO BAD???? HOW?

This entry is very shouty.

IT'S LIKE TWO PEOPLE HAVING A CONVERSATION ACROSS THE ROOM!!!

Why though?

TO SHOW OUR ENERGY AND OPTIMISM!!!

That's a little silly.

OH, WE KNOW!!!

Whatever you say.

I could've sworn... (+first look at Eurovision 2006)

I posted yesterday o_O but I guess not.

HI EVERYONE

Last night I stayed up REALLY late, later than I usually do even on the weekends. I was waiting for a Japanese net friend to show up so I could interview him for my CCT paper. That WOULD've been a completely waste of time (since he didn't show for the second night in a row) BUT (!!!) I went to

www.eurovision.tv

and checked out the videos for this year's applicants.

Since I've been watching Eurovision for as long as I've been writing online journals, it's possible that you've put up with buzz from earlier years. It's really fun though.

So far the notables include:

Finland - Rock angels! Hoo-boy...

Iceland - costume shop explosion on acid with ego problems

Latvia - ACTUALLY good. Even the sappy lyrics aren't tooooooo cheesy. At leats, they grew on me after a while.

Turkey - Retro with a beat.

Slovenia - The hair! This guy is intense...

Romania - Snakes!

Germany - Cowboys?

Most everything is rubbish, but at least you can make fun of it :D

Finals are May 20th. Time to start party planning...

Weird happenings

So I keep waking up with cuts. The other day I noticed a scratch by my lip. I figured it was just dry skin or something. This morning, I woke up with dry blood under my eyebrow.

I just remembered one of the dreams I had. I was walking up a hill (a hill! and I wasn't even in Frisco!) and all of the sudden I was enveloped in "corn" (it was more like grass than corn, thick grass...very high, taller than me). It was very exhausting walking up this hill, but it wasn't so much the hill as fighting through the corn. It was still a road, but the corn had taken over. I didn't know which way I was going and it was almost intoxicating. It sort of reminds me of the poppy field scene in The Wizard of Oz. I kinda collapsed for a bit, though I knew I had to keep walking for some reason. I was so tired though. I just lay there in the corn, thinking I had to get up, had to get up, but I didn't. Weird dream ne?

And then I woke up with this weird blood on my face.

?_? *shrug*

Gah!

I just had the most giNORmous breakfast!!! @_@ I hope homework facilitates digestion o_o Flipper, her boyfriend, and I went down to Java Aroma for "dining hall improvement kits." Then we headed back for breakfast on campus. Lots of food! @_@ Scone, eggs, bacon, café au lait, and a little fruit. Yum *_*

Haha, last night I didn't even end up going out for video games. I was so comfy in my room just putzing around that I stayed in, which was fine. Actually I ended up chatting with a Japanese netfriend and he is letting me interview him tonight for my CCT paper, which is good because I've been letting myself get away with procrastinating on that specifically because I hadn't done the interview yet. I didn't want to have to renumber all my notes to add interview quotes later.

Ohhh crud. I have a stupidly overdue book here. Only a couple days, but it's an ILL book so the fine is extra hefty. I have to remember to return it today...

a;dskfjlksdjf

O, the eternal happy!

So for STARTERS, remember that today my roommate moved out. I know I mentioned that already, but it's just the first layer of this fantastically rich and decorative cake!

So I have my own room. Then this afternoon we went to my Japanese teacher's house. She had SO MUCH food. The best chips and salsa ever, cookies, crackers, awesome coffee that she made a special way...by hand I guess is the best way to describe...just delicious. We watched Shall We Dansu? (the original version ne) and it was GREAT. It's interesting how the Richard Gere and the guy who plays that part in the Japanese version give off a very similar aura, like they have the same type of good looks and the same demeanor or something...Anyhow...great! Then dinner was SPECTACULAR! Curry with big chunks of beef, carrot, and potato and rice. She also made a tasty green salad. After we were all completely stuffed she sliced up TWO cheesecakes. One was New York, and honestly, the best cheesecake I've ever had. So light and fluffy!! o_o I didn't know it was POSSIBLE. The other kind was this insanely dense rich chocolate kind. Slivers of each. Just...completely OISHII!!!


And then I got home and of course, miss the boy and wish he were here. I didn't get to talk to him yesterday. He works so hard! (Check out the Best Damn Game Ever on 1UP!!) So I called and we talked and I love talking to him. Aiiiie he's so great and HE'S COMING TO WISCONSIN!!!!!!!!!! He said he will come in June even if he has to work on the plane. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!! XD XD XD

*crazy*

@_@

I'm in a really good mood. I'm going to do a little work and then head out for some game...game game game. I did play some FFII today. Battled my way to hell...fun! Damn those abyss worms tho...or whatever they were. They were good at killing me for a while.

hahaha XD

This really is the stuff of the good life though, ne? I found it ^_^ That's the best part. It's like...I feel like I learned how to be happy. Hopefully it's not just the pills kicking in. It doesn't seem to be though. I feel really different :D like everything will just keep getting better and better ^_^

Spreading out

So my roommate is officially gone. I put some stuff on the other side of the room, but it's still really empty looking. Anyhow, it is nice to have my own place again. Also, everything is clean. I decided to get my side of the room swept and mopped since her side would be all shiney. Everything is all picked up.

I don't feel like I'm getting much done so far though. I've been reading a bit. Reading I'm not worried about though; it's the WRITING that scares me. I need to keep going on those papers.

*sigh sigh sigh*

So it's curry this afternoon, games tonite, coffee tomorrow morning, and lots of work. That's a plan.

DUDE...last night I felt completely ill. I thought I had the flu, for real. I guess it was just the combined effects of a yucky dinner and poorly planned snack. Sick to my stomach, couldn't play games or read cuz I felt dizzy, had the chills. This morning though, I woke up fine :D Thank GOD o_o