Wednesday, December 28, 2005

*attempts to swallow*

Yeah, my throat is kinda sore. I'm in sort of a general physical funk. I need to get out more, I think. O-town isn't terribly condusive to that end, but I could put in more effort. Unfortunately, if I'm really coming down with something, no one is really going to want to hang out anyway : /

This morning (in Mke at G-ma's house) I finally checked out Battle Royale. I guess that's something you'd categorize as a guilty pleasure. Somehow, even though it's gorier than I generally accept, I really enjoyed it. I can't help feeling bad being thrilled at the fact that these kids are killing each other off on a deserted island, but there's a certain excitement in watching society and order disintegrate. Lord of the Flies on purpose! Man, wouldn't just bite though? *thinks how little she would relish the experience of being kidnapped and told to murder her friends* Also, none of those kids looked like 7th graders...


Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Kansha vs. Gansha

Dear tireless students tethered to the face of that sheer mountain cliff that is Japanese,

Let's not confuse kansha suru and gansha suru, for while the former means "to thank/appreciate," the latter is, "to cum on someone's face." Luckily this was discovered without alarming some poor unsuspecting Japanese ears. I'm telling the world now! One always hears of mishaps of this ilk, but rarely do they happen to oneself... Bwah!

Song I Wrote

(Almost) Anything for You

this is an audio post - click to play

So I wrote this, back in the day, during my first year of college. The melody came to me in a dream actually (not kidding). I woke up and started scribbling furiously and a half hour later I had this. Maybe the verses could use some fleshing out. At the time, I didn't know what emo was, but (sadly?), I guess that's probably what most people would categorize it as. I don't know! Anyhow, I envision it with drums and guitar. Sorry about the recording, you now all know I don't have mad singing skills. ;D My voice cracks really nicely the beginning of the second verse or somewhere, but I figure if I tried to record the whole thing over again something ELSE would go wrong and I'd just spend all day recording. I guess I just wanted to get it down before my brother and sister wakes up, which is probably why my voice sounds so wimpy...trying to be somewhat quiet. Nah, I dunno. What I will say that is nice about my singing is that it's good enough for Karaoke Revolution ^_~

Maybe that's more of an insult haha It sure doesn't say much XD

Anyhow, please comment! NOT on my singing, I didn't write it to be sung by me lol Comment on the SONG!! ;p Also no stealing, please (although if you're that crazy about it I'd be flattered to work something out ;p)

Happy listening XD

Monday, December 26, 2005


this is an audio post - click to play

I promise to try not to ever sign off with "Byyyye" ever again haha. Despite talking on the phone, I have to remember that it's not ACTUALLY a phone call.

I wonder how many tests there are like this. It's not that I didn't think it would work, I just wanted to get something up. HASTE (makes waste...yeah I suppose that was a waste.) This'll be great. Maybe I'll enlist my friends in a radio drama. ;D


post new words from Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell!!

HE IS AMAZING! *watches as her vocabulary expands infinitely* It's really exciting to read with m-w, wikipedia, and google up all at once. You can find ALMOST anything (except "sheog," what's that?) These are the notes I've taken so far.

strand - beach, shore

Arcadian - idyllically pastoral (innocent, simple, untroubled)

Marchioness - like Marquess

harridan - gaunt woman

peregrination - travel, esp on foot

Bedlamite - lunatic

jibboom - extension of bowsprit [the bowsprit extends off the bow...I'm not very well-versed in nautical jargon or really...anything nautical XD]

Antipodese - I think he means Australian and New Zealand...ian. (antipode - opposite/contrary) Antipodes - islands opposite Britain

Bristol fashion - in good order (high tidal fall at Bristol made a mess unless everything was "shipshape")

Diogenes - of Sinope, Greek, stoic, no physical pleasure, hunger good, also: first "citizen of the world"

pisco - grape liquor esp in Peru and Chile [Portuguese?]

emollient - softener, making soft, less intense

polymath - a person of encyclopedic knowledge

scrimshandered - made by a scrimshander, i.e. scrimshaw

careen - to put a boat on a beach esp to clean/repair the hull

blithely - happily/lighthearted or lacking due thought/consideration [which I think is the more common meaning]

circumvallate - to surround by or as if by a rampart

ingress - (also ingression) act of entering, power/liberty of entrance/access

lee - protecting shelter (SIDE PROTECTED FROM WIND)

torpor - torpidity (dull, inactive, numb - ness)

haki-haki - [any ideas?]

hoarfrosted - it's spikey frost (white ice crystals)

excoriating - wearing the skin off (also: censuring scathingly)

vellum - skin for binding books/writing on [used to describe a man's back...he's being whipped...ack]

nephrite - commoner, less valuable jade

cabal - the artifices and intrigues of a group of persons secretly united to bring about an overturn or usurpation esp in public affairs (also: the group itself)

Tar - tarpaulin = sailor

consternation - amazement or dismay that hinders or throws into confusion @_@

artfully - [such a good word]

ursine - like a bear o_o (think bovine only for a bear)

in flagrante delicto - adverb - in the act (sex/misdeed/both)

remonstrate - to present and urge reasons in opposition / say or plead in protest/reproof/opposition

sheog - [here it is...i have no idea...some sort of drink]

obdurate - stubbornly persistent in wrong doing, hardened in feeling, resistant to persuasion

rota - roll/rotation (by rota)

demotic - popular/ simplified hieretic? (don't think so ;p)

Magnificat - canticle for V Mary (liturgical song from the Bible)

Nunc Dimittis - prayer of Simeon (both from Luke)

arcana - only really used in plural arcanum apparently... - mysterious knowledge, language, info acccessible only by initiate

promontory - high point of land/rock overlooking water/lowland ALSO a bodily prominance (what does that even mean? o_O)

tatterdemalion [a personal favorite of mine]- a person in ragged clothes

renegado - obviously renegade but I'm not sure if there is a specific context here or not...

quadroon - 1/4 black (octaroon is an eighth, it's sort of scary the things you learn when your uncles are drunk)

fleetest - [AWESOME WORD] swiftest, fastest

woolly - tough without restraint [I guess I knew that, among other things.]

by dint of - by force of, because of [hell yes]

illustrious - notably outstanding cuz of dignity, achievements, actions

benefact - what a benefactor does XD

Pakeha - New Zealanders of euro/British decent (did it evolve from a local epithet?)

Moriori - indigenous of the Chatham Islands

dykey - [besides the obvious modern word, I have no idea: "...ere nightfall obscured the dykey way."]

Morpheus - Greek God of Dreams - human elements - take anyone's form in them, responsible for dreams of kings and heroes (aka The Sandman, morphine derived from the name)

So this is the same drill as before only I'm taking notes in the book since it's mine. Hopefully this will help me remember better. I'm planning on reading the chapter first, then going back and reading for funky words and taking notes, then coming here to bring my notes too you. Slow going, but it's a fun project. I like learning stuff. Some of it, obviously, is more clarification than LEARNING, but I think that's just as important. I mean, most of the time I would glance over "consternation" but it's nice to know that it results in hindrance or confusion.



Keep looking out for the voice post. It will follow today sometime.


Oh yez...

So I'm back at blogger. It's too great. I got a digicam for x-mas, so I'll be starting to upload pics sometime soon. ALSO I signed up for audioblogger, so look forward to some awesome voiceblogging. (OK maybe it will just be goofy, but that is fine too ne?)


I'll post some audio later. Right now I'm going to...

Xanga Digest - The Switchback

Dec 2

More Tech

I would like that. I need to learn more about computers and things.

Other than that though I've been spending too much time sitting here. I actually ache. It's just that I've found so many interesting websites.

I'm worried about my history paper. I think I may have inadvertantly plagiarized. I really tried not to, but I was reading and became worried. Some of the examples there are clearly stripped right out but other bits, seem...different. I mean I suppose one still has to cite. Perhaps that is the distinction. Of course I CITED, it just may still be too close for comfort. I'm not very good at this.

If I want to be a translator I need to improve my writing skills. I wonder if I should sign up for a writing class instead of Physical Geology. I wanted to take Physics later anyways right? I should investigate my options.

I also need to study Japanese. Tomorrow is Friday. We've been working on the current chapter for a week already, plus it would've been smart to look over the material during break. I haven't even started. How ridiculous. Sometimes I really wonder what I think I'm doing. It's not that I'm not motivated. I'm just exploring other things, like video games.

Speaking of which:

So you see I was serious and not just implying the amount of time being sunk into Mariokart DS (which is pretty fun, and I haven't even tried out the wifi yet XD)

That's the news right now. I like this location well enough I think. I think I'll adopt my blogger title though, because "Duck's Escape" just sounds lame.

Falling out of my chair


the other day in film history we were discussing Invasion of the Body Snatchers (the 50s version) and my teacher referred to "i-pod people" WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT. We all laughed until we hurt and she was just like "What? *blink blink*"


OH WAIT I also had a strange dream last night that involved subways that were more like horizontal suicidally fast ski-lifts (very unsafe) and the word "repartee" which was there because my HISTORY teacher mentioned it in class. How bizarre.

Dec 3

the gender bender

Welllll we were trying to raise money for the AIDS foundation and we raised a little, but it was mostly because some of the PRIDE alliance members donated parts of their paychecks. No one really came. It's kind of sad.

I didn't have very good clothes but it worked well enough.

Dinner was lousy. I ate sort of the in the middle of my dance experience which wasn't the greatest idea but I was getting hungry. Had a wrap with lettuce tomato chicken and some cheese that was definitely NOT parmesan...probably mozzerella which really makes me mad. I dunno. It wasn't very good, but nothing else looked any better.

Today food-wise once again sucked. I mean I had good pizza for lunch (pepperoni, mushroom, bell peppers) but I never feel very good about eating pizza...

Oh well.

We had rented out this huge room in the dining hall, so an hour beforehand we were all there clearing away tables and chairs and spillage (eww >_<). That took a while because they had just put all the chairs up on the tables so we had to take them down, stack them, and shove them into a corner.

What's frustrating about gender benders is that some of the guys look better in those tiny skirts than many girls do. There is one in particular (whose name I never learned) who really knew how to make his skirt bounce. One guy naired his legs (and in fact pretty much all the hair on his body except a couple spots) but it turned out sort of bad because his skin reacted to the chemicals. : / The vice pres. and pres. were dressed really well in pinstripes. Flipper started out as a boyscout and gradually lost layers throughout the evening to reveal that she had once again knee-bandaged her nipples in order to be acceptable shirtless XD

Tomorrow the plan is sleep in until brunch, go eat, relax for a couple hours, head to the bank, maybe stop at McDonald's to try out my Mariokart DS with the free wifi, and thennnn there's anime at 4, an international dinner at 7 followed by (hopefully if it's not sold out) a play at 8...the name of which I can't spell...

So hopefully that will be cool.

I dunno. I'm thinking a fairly chill weekend, with some note preparing and studying. I have one more reading assignment and I might screen a movie early so I don't have to miss work hours on Monday to see it (something Korean for EAC).

Blah blah blah.

Dec 9

Animal Crossing News

Why are all the animals in my town obsessed with pink? Pink shirts, pink furniture, they all want pink things, and I just have no more to give!! Pierce traded me my number 1 shirt for a sky wall tho...

Also I have to admit to being a total geek and having Katrina test my compatibility with this certain...guy...

and the prognosis was actually...really good. I think it was "good luck, change, and optimism" among some other things about a hedgehog whipping cream or something...


Classes are over so all I have now is tests...studying is good but I'm doing that at four so I feel inclined to shake pear trees...


Dec 11

dakku no nihongo de kaita burogu

with pancakes!

Everyone go look, even if you can't read Japanese. A picture is worth a thousand words ;p

Dec 14


yay for being done with exams!

I'm pretty sure everything went decently. Best of all, I got an A on the research paper I thought was going to ruin my EAC grade.

All I have to do now is clean and pack so I can jam out to San Francisco tomorrow!! :D


I need to do laundry...

I know this blog isn't very exciting, and I apologize. I guess I just need to find a way to spice things up.


Test is coming soon.

Must study like a banchee.

O hellish terror!

I wrote that the other day before the EAC test.

Dec 17

Worth the greyhound trip.

Yeah, I can't seem to get the Greyhound system to go for me without a hitch. They're 2 for 2 now.

It's ok though ^_^

Scott and I had so much fun it was cosmic.

And then came the snow...

oh wait.

Yeah I'm back in O-town now, you see, so it's damned cold (19F last time I checked...and the sun was only just going down then...) My brother's X-box 360 is sitting (on a towel? Yes, the X-box apparently deserves a towel throne...) over there making puppy eyes at me. Or maybe it's more of an evil eyebrow, "Oh yes, you DO want to play me...GET OVER HERE!!" *devour*


There is a wireless modem here, but I'm not sure if it's working. At least my DS won't pick it up...which is sad. There are a few green blinky lights; usually that means it's working right? *shrug* All I know is...well I guess I don't know much. I should be in mke soon. I mean I could be tomorrow if I wanted. PERHAPS I SHALL. I'll give concerned parties a call if it goes.


Dec 19


Yes, we're "official" now. We decided that since blowing off dates and not pursuing other potential suitors effectively made us exclusive, we might as well go for it. ^_^

Other than that, a long month coming up. Unfortunately, my laptop is fried somehow. I watched an episode of Beck, paused it for a while, and when I came back it had crashed and now refuses to load windows. : / Hopefully someone can help me figure it out...(yes this is a call for help heh)

I tried PDZ (which I suck at...maybe I should try to improve...) and Kameo (which I wasn't terribly thrilled with...). It was fun, but I decided to work on FF1 instead for the time being. I'd sort of like to play Windwaker again. I mean, I never finished it, but I'd like to start a game and see how far I can get. I also realized I missed the fishing tournament start yesterday in AC, but I'm not overly concerned. I haven't talked to any of my animals in a while. Last time I played I just sold a lot of pears...

I need a

I guess maybe that means I'll shower twice today, since Eric said we would probably go to the Y later. That's ok. I need to get into a better groove on that stuff.

Happiness abounds ^_^ One thing though, is that I realized unless I can get my laptop to work (and then bother about switching the net connection to it) I won't be able to update my Japanese blog. It's sort of fun to write it longhand though. Maybe I will just do that and then just transfer it later. In fact, that's almost a better idea PERMANENTLY because that way I have to actually WRITE the kanji and come up with them myself as opposed to just letting the computer find them for me (however sexy that might be.)

Yeah, I should study, and read. Maybe I'll go over to the library. I wonder if I would just totally freeze my brains out if I walked...


But yeah I've been reading The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, which I highly recommend. I wish I would've read it before I was tutoring those Hmong refugees. It's a story about a little girl with epilepsy and the cultural clash between her American doctors and traditional Hmong ideas, but the author provides a lot of background about their situation and what happened in Asia to the Hmong people as a whole.

Also still catching up on The Escapist. Good stuff!

Yay ^_^

Dec 20


Not very eventful. Oh! I want to get pics of my haircut!! @_@

Yes, that's what I did today, haircut. Last night I ended up going with Ryan shopping and then to his class and then out for dinner and THEN to his friend's house where we were GOING to watch The 40 Year Old Virgin, but he forgot it in his PS2 case, so we saw The Family Guy Movie instead...*pant*

Not really my kind of thing, but some of it was pretty funny/horrible.

I've been perfectly my Sharkey-style eggs technique lately. Should I give you the recipe?

1 slice of bread
1 egg
a couple shavings of cheddar cheese
a bit of butter or oil


So you heat up the pan and make sure it doesn't stick (with the oil/butter)

For people without toasters, this is how to make toast ne. The thrilling thing here, is that you cut a hole in your bread and crack the egg into it. (Toast the circle of bread alongside your Sharkey-style egg!) Anyhow you wait till it's set well enough and cooked on the bottom and simply flip it! (Also flip your circle ;D) After you flip it, put the cheese on top of the egg side (that is already cooked). Wait a minute till it's done and then chow down! Beautiful!

So yes, I'm a geek for eating association-ridden eggs for breakfast, but it's really tasty. I have cereal as my late night snack, so it would be boring to have the same in the morning ;p That's my defense! No matter how weak! ;p *sigh*

I decided that since my brother is playing my DS all the time, I'm going to play the hell out of Windwaker. Did I say that already? Well I am! I never beat it! (Rarely do I beat anything, but still... ... ...shut up ;p)

It would be nice to hit the Y, but it seems as though my brother is taking a shower. Maybe I will just do some exercises here. Hup...sounds like I have a babysitting job...XD yay! That kinda rocks hehe

Ciao :D

Dec 23

*sings* What dayyyy is it - could you please tell me?

Friday! Yes! lol


Last night Luke bought Ryan and I dinner at this super groovy Mexican restaurant and we watched The Boondock Saints. It was pretty good. ^_^ I wasn't really sure what it was about. I guess I didn't ever ask any of the fans ;p But luckily I'm used to gangster violence from all the yakuza movies I watch so it's cool ;D

Today I'm going shopping with my dad for X-mas stuff...blah blah.

My peach tree died in Animal Crossing. I guess that's to be expected when you don't play for almost a week, but I was sad...


Of course, it's Dawn of Souls, so it's easier than the original : / but I still feel happy! My characters were so leveled up that it was ridiculously simple. Don't diminish my sense of accomplishment please ;p

I also finished the book I was reading, which is happy, except I dont' have something to start now. Really I'm halfway through I am a Cat, so I should find a copy of that and keep going. The trick is FINDING it though, when you can't go to a library or anywhere >_< Maybe Dad and I will go to Half-Price books or something...

Ack I have to go...




Tuesday, November 29, 2005


so there's a door decorating contest with cash prizes...hum hum...gotta think of something creative and workable...

thanksgiving rocked. food was killer ( but it's ok) and i played a lot of cards with flipper's bro. we also played video games, listened to a variety of music (cake!) and what else...uhm...stuff 'n stuff. OH we saw Harry Potter and drove a lot...watched Benny & Joon (finally) and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels...


i should be writing a paper as usual...

but hey...i think we've got like...19...18? days left? something like that.


the weather is kinda lamentable right now. cold and wet.

speaking of wet i figured out why i don't really like the history lectures as much as i COULD...they aren't dry they are SOGGY. ha! yes! that is it exactly...

yesterday i watched kung fu hustle (the end too) and took notes...also hanabi...well i kinda fast fowarded through most of hanabit cuz i've seen it twice...but i took notes on the violence. hopefully i can whip a paper out of that this afternoon/night/tomorrow morning. lol X_X *cry*

anyhow i'm outtie there are many things to be done around here...

Sunday, November 20, 2005


i don't remember a lot of it but the parts i do remember were weird enough
ruususokkusu: i was in i think...maybe paris again...or some big city with a metro
ruususokkusu: and we were at the a station waiting looking out the windows and the sky was looking really creepy
ruususokkusu: like really dark
ruususokkusu: and then in one direction it was this really pale too much sun but being sorta covered up quickly by this swarm of big black clouds
ruususokkusu: and suddenly they were rushing at us really really fast
ruususokkusu: and they turned into these demon things with fire eyes and they were swooping down and at first we were like ha we must be dreaming some joke this is
ruususokkusu: but then the windows all broke as it crashed into us and we were like shit it's the end of the world for real
ruususokkusu: later tho i guess we ran away
ruususokkusu: cuz i was sitting on the couch with this boy i guess he had been with me i dunno
ruususokkusu: and he was...see i have this thing about THE an ideal...genuine...boy and there are these certain qualities and i'm not even really sure what they are...very esoteric...but this was the flesh. THE BOY
ruususokkusu: and he's somewhere between like 12 and 15 years old right
ruususokkusu: but we have this like...cosmic connection
ruususokkusu: really bizarre
ruususokkusu: and suddenly i know i've gone back in time...
ruususokkusu: like...
ruususokkusu: i just all of the sudden realized that i was in the past and that when i got back to the future i would still know this boy only he would be much older...say like...40 or something
ruususokkusu: and everything was so weird
ruususokkusu: sitting with this boy on the couch...and he put his head on my shoulder...and it was almost like i was his mom
ruususokkusu: but i wasn't his mom
ruususokkusu: cuz in the future i knew i would meet him and we'd be together
ruususokkusu: it was soooo messed up
ruususokkusu: this one was really intense
ruususokkusu: freakin' end of the world and then this boy/man
ruususokkusu: it was the strangest feeling
ruususokkusu: "cosmic" is the best word i could come up with
ruususokkusu: i've been having lots of dreams lately about connecting with people really deeply

when he was there on my shoulder
ruususokkusu: all i wanted was to keep him safe and happy and his mom, take care of him
ruususokkusu: but then in the future, all i wanted was for him to take care of me
ruususokkusu: it was like the most mind-boggling thing to feel both at once
ruususokkusu: like being an embryo or something lol
nymphofwould: *laughs*
ruususokkusu: no really it's the most bizarre thing in the world
ruususokkusu: i couldn't tell if he knew or not tho
ruususokkusu: yeah
ruususokkusu: it was really cool
ruususokkusu: and then i woke up x_x
ruususokkusu: lol
ruususokkusu: my dreams have been emotion-packed lately


breakfast was a disaster

i'm downloading music


gonna write that paper

i guess the pool is open this afternoon but i dunno if i want to go or not

i should force myself to

before they close

like if we get in at 3:30 that would be good

swim for a half hour and then get out...wait for dinner

go eat

i think i might like Settle

you can go listen on

which i know that sounds so lame

Emily wants different music so she searches for "indie" and comes up with the first thing which is probably totally counterintuitive but really it's not cuz anything new is new and i'm not terribly concerned.

i got all the free stuff on pitchforkmedia too...which...some of it is pretty sweet

yeah between beck and questionable content i have a guitar crave going on

maybe it's a new era. i think i will trade in my old sax maybe. the student one. probably not worth that much...but i bet i can get it to go pretty far on a guitar.

i guess we're gonna go for a walk instead.

but where? we could go to the mall and spend money on stuff

or we could go get ice cream or coffee or something...

but that all involves cash and/or sugar

and breakfast was a disaster

bleh bleh bleh

and this stupid paper


last night i chatted till almost three in the morning. was fun.

i'm out

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Looking at all my notes for my EAC research paper is no better than looking at my stack of sources (which isn't really all that many...and probably not enough). Flipper and I went to the library today and she checked out a book about asian philosophy. The first sentence of the preface is, "This book grows out of a perceived need." That makes so much sense to me. Why just recapitulate? Why write stupid research papers that aren't even really research papers?

I wish I could print my notes out and LOOK at them. It's too hard to have it all on the computer. I need to organize things. Also though, even though I can summarize all this stuff, the point is to come up with a thesis. Every time I have to do that though, it ends up something really fake and pointless. One of these, "This is important cuz.." only phrased cleverly enough to fool professors into thinking I've done some great scholarship. Actually that's not even true; that's giving myself far too much credit. Because really, when is the last time I did a research paper? Eons ago! And I've never done one with a thesis. It was always just "give us some facts" blah blah and make sure you cite it all.

The other problem is that I don't even really understand the material all that well. At least some of it has me totally mystified and there is no one to ask. The whole point is that I am supposed to be finding things out that other people may NOT know (I suppose?). I'm pretty sure my teacher has never heard of kuntenbon and it's doubtful he knows the what -w- and -F- mean.

I feel sorta doomed. Technically as long as I write something I should be able to get a grade of SOME sort. Even a D isn't failing right? That doesn't seem like a very good outlook, but I guess I just have to be convinced that the right thing is to do myself the dishonor of writing some bullshit and getting whatever lousy mark I can.


time to swim!

koyuki wannabe

*Beck spoilers...minor...*

So...I've been watching Beck and I really think Koyuki is great. It's not just him though. All those anime fellows in ganbarou mode. I feel so lazy and useless. What am I striving for? Who are my comrades in the struggle? I mean it's not that I don't have goals or's just that I don't have that overarching connection. Spirit...something. I think anime club is the closest I will come to having something like that. So I'm trying to get better at being an anime fan...

Don't forget Sena either...aishiirudo-kun


I wish I had friends who had the same things in mind so we could all ganbaru together...

Anyways...what's nearly time to sack it. I have so much work to do the next four days...

Then before I leave I will grab a novel, altho i'm not sure what. nothing to do with school though...just like ideally...i would get Cloud Atlas. That would probably involve buying though. which...i mean technically that wouldn't be the end of the world. it's probably like 12 bux...but...maybe after these stupid four days i deserve it?

(like i deserved the ds and the dvdrs and all that stuff?)

no buying stuff anymore. next semester i will be allowed dvdrs but i think that is about it.


whatever this entry is so over ;p

Friday, November 18, 2005

dreams and desires

Lately I've been having lots of strange dreams. Some of the less avant-garde things I can remember ok...

The other day I met a guy (in my dream) and we were walking to a basketball court. He said, "Hmm I wonder if I could pick you up," then faked like he was going to try while I said, "Well...probably..." and then he decided instead, "Nah you just need to walk faster! Girls are so slow!" but he was teasing. Really awesome guy. I was really attached to him in the dream so I guess that's why I was so unhappy to wake up.

Anyhow we arrived at the basketball court and it was all dirt, on the seaside or somewhere surrounded in part by these high sandy brick walls. (kinda yellow) and there were rocks leading down to the water...well not really leading...just sorta bordering. The ball kept going through holes in the wall and fall into the ocean. The hoop would break off and fall so we'd have to climb very carefully down (since the rocks were liable to slide and fall too).


So then last night, I dreamed...well the first thing I dreamed was that I was back in Paris. I was really excited to go to the MCJP (they have that monster exhibit on) and anyhow it was just a really good feeling. I remember looking for a house or something and for some reason hoping my old room would still be available but we all knew that was impossible and also that the people there weren't that great to deal with in the first place. Who was I with tho? For a while there was this older fellow and some other person. But later I was with a friend from elementary school whom I haven't seen in years.

Then the dream changed and I was babysitting a whole bunch of kids. It was weird. It was really like a montage succession of babysitting jobs. All at the site of this river. Which oddly enough now that I think of it was actually the big hill at my old house...we lived at the top of this huge hill in the road. The driveway came winding out and then you turned left to hurtle your bike down this thing and you'd just fly. Anyhow in this dream (and actually in one or two others I had a LONG time ago) this road was a river and not a road. The main thing tho was that the kids kept falling into the river. I was with someone else too...maybe Flipper? No cuz Flipper would've been faster and smarter than me at rescuing. There was someone else there who tried but I always beat them to it. Anyhow the kids would fall in and go under and I'd have to jump in and save them and the water was moving really fast (down the hill...but I guess not really as fast as all THAT cuz that hill would've been more like rapids or falls) I dunno how many kids I saved. At least three. They were all fine. Everyone I guess held their breath pretty well or something...

This morning I was thinking about high school band. I would give almost anything for a 5:30 with the wind symphony. Back in the day, just like it used to be. I'd practice so hard... I'd be totally prepared and we'd wake up all super early and complain about it even though we liked it. At least I did. Beating the crack of down and sometimes the lake would be doing that steaming thing when the water is warmer than the air. Eerie morning scenes. Looks like ghosts or something filtering up through the H20 molecules. I guess I always would've rather played with the brass but sax was the instrument so it woodwinds it was. The flutes would be skittering around somewhere up there and the bassons would be a bit behind. We all tried so hard but I guess sometimes it really was "like nailing jell-o to a wall" ;p Our band was good though, I'd say. Well plenty of people would say. I never wanted high school to last forever, but high school band I would've taken in some form for the rest of my life if I could've. : /

Last night Flipper and I talked forEVEr about all sorts of stuff lol. It's pretty cool. We decided to skip tai chi (sorry kevin) cuz we stayed up sorta late. Not really that late, but in the tai chi context it was definitely too. Breakfast was banana with grapenuts and a mug of decaf coffee splashed with milk. I'm studying with Lex at 9 and then swimming at 10. After that there is a Japanese test at 11 and then I will have lunch I suppose...if I'm hungry. I'm going to have tomato soup with ham and provolone on rye (assuming the correct ingredients for the sandwich are present.) If not, I'm not sure what I want. I guess they have tortellini marinara today which sounds sorta good, although I'm having pizza for dinner (hopefully sausage, green pepper, and mushroom, but I'll settle for pepperoni as the meat if that's all they have.)

I have a lot of stuff I was supposed to get done today (and yesterday) but I guess I'll just get it done as I can. I'm trying to get all my break homework done too, although technically I could bring some things with me to Jean's and not worry about it so much. Actually though I'd much rather bring a a nice hiatus from school reading, so I think I will read (and WRITE...AC and EAC papers!!!) really hard up until Wednesday afternoon. That's when we're leaving. Flipper's mom is picking us up Wednesday afternoon. I think Tuesday I will plan on a Tiger Yogurt run since I haven't been there yet. We can swim at noon, grab lunch, and head on an expedition. I still havent' been to In-N-Out yet either. I vowed to go before this last month of the semester is up!! It's like the better than McDonald's fast food that California has. So I hear anyhow. Sounds good. Sounds like maybe le quick. lol ;_; paris...

Anyway's this has taken quite long enough I guess...since I meant to be at the library picking up an article or two and a couple books.

OOHHH one other note quick...

So today is the J-test...that makes that class short. Then I have AC which should be...the way it is.

Then Monday though I don't have J, only AC (yeah we cut out the favorites before the break and keep the unsavories...haha oh but that's's not like i REALLY hate any of my classes...just get frustrated sometimes...) and then Tuesday I have EAC but no FH.

I need to come up with abbreviations for next semester:

That should suffice. I suppose I could shorten to M for math, we'll see how it goes. Abbreviations should be spontaneous and convenient!!

PG is physical geology ne...I'm sure some kids WOULD need parental guidance tho cuz it could get pretty complicated. I dunno much about subduction zones ;D

Monday, November 14, 2005

I just had a ridiculous dinner:

lasagna, broccoli, and FUDGE lol

The best part of that is that yesterday morning I had this sudden longing for lasagna. LO AND BEHOLD it is dinner Monday night. How glorious. For dessert I chose fudge over apple pie. They don't have fudge everyday. It was so good, and I admit I could've chosen a smaller chunk >_<;;


here I am in the PRIDE CENTER

at work...

I should be (working? no no no) doing homework. I actually got done quite a lot today. Flipper has practically moved into my house. She's joined Kevin and I in our (now resumed) Tai Chi mornings. Actually today was super cool cuz we did tai chi and then had breakfast. Then she had class but I didn't...I just did homework. Then we went swimming! Only for about a half hour but it was still good exercise. Tomorrow there might be a way to fit in swimming...only if I rearrange lunch. But then isn't that my favorite pasttime? 6_6

Boy that lasagna was good. The sad thing is that it was probably horrible lasagna, but it sure tasted good... I appreciated it to no end. Well thankfully there was an end otherwise I'm sure I would've continued appreciating it until I exploded...


Nah...but it was pretty tasty.

Anyhow...anything else...saturday night i went to a thanksgiving dinner on campus and the funny thing is that the dining hall is doing a thanksgiving dinner on thursday. This means I'll be having thanksgiving dinner fully THREE WEEKS IN A ROW. I find that somewhat amusing.

Blah I should go take notes on EAC stuff...speaking of which...I haven't done my paper for AC OR I'm kinda screwed. Not ultimately...but...currently. Really I wanted to get all that crud done before break which is...*drumroll* STARTING NEXT WEDNESDAY :D Flipper and I will be whisked AND we get to see Harry Potter. I'm psyched.





and water :D

Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Crazy

Yeah...things have been pretty insane lately.

However today I would just like to mention:

sweet potatoes (yes)

my eac prof was nice to me! i think...


what else...

work is going is ok.

next semester i will have

japanese lit
physical geology
weight training

also the happiness that is moses has been relocated...i'm so glad :D

i could go see a movie right now but i think i'm going to do some work first.

i've been getting REALLY lost in final fantasy (i) and so spend many hours wandering aimlessly killing stupid monsters.

you'd think they hearsay of my great strength would spread amongst their ranks and they would leave me the freak alone but i guess not...

it's cuz (see) the that i don't know where to i wander into some cavern right? and then i wander down some corridors and go through some doors and then i pop out somewhere else...and i lose the airship...i dunno where it is...and i just got it! grr lol

other than that...i got the most beautiful japanese test handed back to me the other day. i got a hundred (which i usually do...our prof grades pretty easy) but this time there were NO extraneous markings on the paper. generally i get full points but he has at least 2 or three things to point out that i screwed up on. THIS time the ONLY marks on the paper were to say i was right (right right right right flawless perfect glorious amazing)

:D ^_^ :D

ok usually i don't get so excited about good grades ne...but an untouched test is pretty sweet.

uhm...other than that...i wish it was next semester...

i'm scared of the rest of this one...

at work we're planning aids week and it's kinda nuts...

*ramble ramble*


oh my counselor is pretty cool, which is nice

but i should probably go study...all the ff has made it after 8 o'clock (not to mention the blogging and talking to moses on the phone and chatting with xav lol)



kanji! :D

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


*sigh* i'm trying to get my life to the point where i can watch a movie or play some video games or chat for a while everyday without feeling like i'm shirking my duties as dedicated college student, but the increasing number of fun things to do is making it difficult.

EVERYONE GO JOIN!! It's fun! A friend from HS set it up. Sweet rp. I'm a total noob but hopefully I'll learn fast and it will be one of those things I look forward to everyday while slogging through articles on British cinema or grinding a paper through my brain...


GOOD LORD they make me so happy. lol I had some of them and a banana for lunch and I wish I could just eat the exact same thing for dinner it was so good. More likely lunch tomorrow tho...if they still have them.

and i guess that's all...since i'm supposed to be on my way to class or working on a paper or that...

GO JOIN THE RP :D (I'm Haley!)

Saturday, October 29, 2005

halloween weekend

so last night i joined anime club and i'm so glad i did...

i wanted to cry it was so wonderful.

for real.

just because i really miss that, watching awesome new anime with cool people.

the club watches all stuff that you can't get in the states. they have tons and tons of series.

we watched...Eyeshield 21, Black Cat, many things...I really can't remember lol Eyeshield 21 is funny. I'm kinda sad I came in in the middle, but I'm sure they will catch me up if I ask them. It's about an American football team and this little shrimpy kid who is fast and talented but doesn't really want to play. So the team disguises him with an eyeshield lol There's one guy who for some reason is able to run around with a big gun and shoot down doors and things lol

Anyhow, beautiful anime and I'm really glad I went...I just feel so good in the anime element again. I can't buy anything else this semester cuz I got Home Movies, but I think next semester I will save a little bit of my check each time for some anime or manga after I take inventory over the winter. (Exchange the books I don't use for my DVDs heh)

Anyhow what else...also last night I had dinner (pizza-pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms --they didn't have sausage!! ;_;, salad, cookie) at the summit with Flipper and that was really fun. She's really cool! I'm so glad I met her. I might work this summer at a boyscout camp with her. I really hope I can! That would be a really sweet gig.

Today I work out for the first time (finally) with my personal trainer. So hopefully that will go well and I'm not too much of a weakling. I've met him and he seems really cool.

Dude I've been listening to keiichi extreme anime radio and I heard Joousama's Queen cover. It appears to be a popular song so I'm sure they play it pretty often. Try to check it out cuz it's pretty nuts ;D and check it out anyhow cuz it's all great music :D they play some slayers stuff and it always makes me think of back in high school.

Freshman year really was the best ne? And that summer? Getting into anime was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It's how I decided what I want to be when I grow up lol It's how I meet a lot of my friends.

Anyhow later tonite I'm going to see Assassins with my friend Kevin at the school theater. I've heard great things about it and love musicals, so it should be kickin'.

OH and on Wednesday i went to a counsellor at the school health center. She seems really cool and I'm going again in a couple weeks. I like the way she actually takes into account what I think about things.


*ramble ramble*

I guess that was a straight up update for everybody.

I gotta get some homeworks done ;D


Monday, October 24, 2005

now i'll last until dinner :D

i just ate a ridiculously wonderful yogurt...blueberry...yum yum yum fruit on the bottom so it looks all nasty till you mix it up. i've been craving one ever since i got here and today i had one for 85 cents and a free spoon to boot. that was wonderful. i should do that more often.

for sure

anyhow what else...

oh i'm near declaring my french major finally

and the paperwork for L2 Net is underway




i met my personal trainer today...he's uber cute but don't tell anyone lol

somehow i knew he would be

not in a stereotypical way

just i knew he would


oh well

uhmmmmm i guess that's it i gotsa jam out to work now ;D

Sunday, October 23, 2005

infrequent updates

workshop was sorta disappointing.

as were many things...

but not grades.

i've been getting As all over the place.

new worries are the next ac paper and the rough draft of the eac research paper which i haven't started yet and frightens me.


i quit the dojo..did i mention that i started? probably not...

but i quit

i'm getting a personal trainer tho

and also

joining anime club

the linguistics club is being converted to L2 Net...a group for language learners to complain about their textbooks or find study buddies etc

still with a linguistic slant tho


this weekend is going to suck but friday is anime club and rocky horror

so that will be my brief respite

and then into the hell that is constituted by mixing two papers and random homework together

i should be working

Monday, October 10, 2005

velcro-covered facts would be helpful

notice i haven't been around much.

so right now i'm listening to Mates of State wishing i wasn't so stupid

i have a test tomorrow and i've been trying to learn all weekend and it's not working

reviewing is so pointless. if you don't know it you're not going to figure it out in three or four days.

anyhow i've been working on the textbook stuff which means i haven't even started the philosophy. well that's not really true...cuz i kinda ran through my analects notes last night which are all the book. so i kinda glanced everything over.

confucius should be easy tho.

i can't remember if we have to know xunzi and mozi and that...

but i do know we have to know laozi and zhuangzi

those i have to look over

as well as the legalist and militarist stuff

so that is what i'm doing today...

after i waste a couple more minutes

you can only look at this stuff so much...

and i still don't know the textbook stuff anyhow

even tho i spent all freakin' weekend typing notes and looking them over and readin them in my head and aloud and everything

how dumb

maybe i really hate school and just think i like it cuz i want to be something when i grow up


this week is far too busy

pride week

which...i will have to miss most of it cuz i have class

but oh well

and then...

two group projects (MGM and Seven Samurai) which i will probably have to present on the same day next great...

and then...

this midterm tomorrow that i will fail

i guess i have like a B+ or A- in this class right now...if i fail my midterm it will get worse...hopefully i can at least get a C...a B would be nice...even a low B would be acceptable i suppose...i dunno

i think if it's not grammar or vocab it just doesn't find a home in my head...

it's like if king wu was a knife, and my head was a would be the case that the knife would just glance off of rubber or penetration of all just slides offfff

i hate feeling stupid

so ok and the gender bender is friday and i can't just wear my normal clothes even tho they are guy clothes...i have to actually dress up and i can't find anyone to lend me clothes and i honestly just don't want to waste money on thrift store clothes i will wear once. i have enough stuff to spend money on and find more all the time. i'm supposed to be SAVING. but then if i don't dress up it will be lame and pointless to go and you know i don't even WANT to go. maybe i can just set up and go home to sleep. i like my job and stuff but i have things to do on saturday and i don't really see myself having that much fun staying out friday night anyhow.

saturday is my t&i workshop. probably i should wear nice clothes but since i don't have any here i will end up wearing...flares and a shirt probably. a shirt or two or three. i dunno. bleck. and then i will have to go by myself to sf...what is the point really? hopefully the workshop will be worth it.

blah i have to go...if not to study east asian civ then to do some japanese at least...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

out of steam

man things were going well this weekend but i think the happy just wore out. all of the sudden i have no motivation, no will to do anything. I feel like crud. Dinner was too...whatever. Yuck. I'm so excited about budo taijutsu on Thursday and Tai Chi every morning with Kevin and stuff, but at the same time I feel totally drained. I'm really lonely. Mostly I just to curl up and go to bed. Before I do that though I have to read chapter six for eac and study some japanese. i was supposed to do the revised proposal for my research paper but i'm considering changing my i'll put that off. then also i was going to outline chapter three but realized i have no idea what is important in all those details...

bureaus with sub-bureaus and central local district commanderies...

blehhhh chancellor...*cough*


i can't even remember all the stuff...THAT doesn't even sound that complicated

i ate some interesting cake tonite

but it made me feel guilty cuz i had cinni-raisin toast for breakfast (one piece)

with low-fat yogurt (which of course has all sorts of dumb sugar in it)

i'm mad again

and lonely

and sick of working

and i feel stupid cuz half of it i put off anyhow

so dumb

i dunno what to do my paper on

i can't write papers

i totally suck at it

*jams to Athlete*


so i will have to get down to homework soon.

maybe i shouldn't change my paper topic...i was thinking i could look at ninjutsu...but maybe that would be too uh..."shrouded in myth"


chapter six is on buddhism and daoism so that should be good....since...we already read about it. so hopefully it will just flesh it out.

i like reading the more detailed stuff AFTER we read the basic stuff...

i never rememer anything tho.

japanese...maybe i should do japanese now...

cuz that is a no brainer...technically i could get everything done tomorrow. i have a lot of open time tomorrow.

at least it seems that way.

i spend too much time putzing on my computer cuz i don't want to esp now when i feel lousy.

i dunno...

usually if there is a day or two that i am happy enough to literally jump up and down there follows a drained period

which is sad cuz i've been feeling so lousy for weeks and then got to be happy for like 2 days.

i'm also really mad because the dinner menus for the week aren't up so i can't plan food...

dinner tonite made me mad
i'm just dumb


maybe i should go remember the tai chi i learned today.

kevin rocks!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

today is a beautiful day


and wonderful beautiful Japanese.

I am chatting

to a Japanese dude


it makes me want to cry lol すごい!

i feel empowered lol maybe i will make some new japanese friends


i dunno

yay for everything

and we watched Chungking Express today in Asian Cinema..well and also most of Kung Fu Hustle...which was also really good...

good movies, good homework doing, good ideas for the PRIDE center...


tonite is linguistics club at 10...possibly matsuri at nine if i feel like it...i may just do homework instead tho...

there may have been something else i was gonna say but i'm too happy now...


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

putting off the day

not really true...this should maybe be an album title...

The Painted Zebras - Putting off the Day


I should start a band.

Anyhow...I did the remainder of EAC homework during breakfast. I had cereal with strawberries but that only lasted for like an hour lol so i had a nutrigrain that bad?

technically i could be on my way to eac right now...arriving early to better facilitate pre-discussion contemplation of the Legalist perspective and the first Emperor of the Qin.

but i'd much rather sit here in the half-dark...

i think facebook is finally letting me update my school...which is amazing.


i don't like tuesdays much...having a break at noon is nice...but on starting at 11 and having japanaese is better i think...also 2 hour blocks have this way of seeming infinitely longer than 1.5 hour blocks (or is that just me??)

maybe i should've had almonds...


today is kinda busy...altho i don't have to go to the bank anymore. netflix extended my free trial cuz of the shipping whatever that happened...but i need to call them and tell them their website won't accept my full address...and blah blah. maybe i will just cancel and forget it. i really don't want to tho...

i have to get into the library and check out the linguistics section again...with PURPOSE lol

and i'm still hungry

what the hey

i say SCREW THAT and i will see you at lunch (stomach!)

also screw my stuffed up nose...


yeah i'd best be jammin'



Monday, September 19, 2005

eventual momentum

discovery of important study-wise fact:

forced application of self gradually gives way to genuine motivation and involvement

perhaps an instance of doing the right thing for the wrong reasons, but if the reasons end up aligned with the thing in the end maybe that justifies it

in any case, yesterday started out as a slog and ended up really well. i didn't even read bukowski before bed (even tho i'm behind on both bukowski and history of the world after the unproductive block of last week) because i wanted to get some more history done.

the key is to have the essential done early (the night before) so the mornings can be spent on the important but non-curricular activites...

i've decided that afternoons are going to be henceforth used for gym-going rather than catch-up reading...

better use of free time AND it means that i can avoid the wet-hair to bed syndrome or the double shower day followed by the scrub day syndrome...

as founding president of the linguistic club i feel we need to get our shit together heh

speaking of which insights are appreciated...we're planning on discussing assigned readings and also learning about a language each month. october and november will have their own...i think december (only consisting of two or three meetings) will be grab-bag of obscure ones. unfortunately none of us are experts. we just share the common interest. the plan, unless we come up with something better to do, is to find an intro textbook. i'm the only one who has ever had a linguistics class before, so we really need the base stuff. the nice thing is that we'll be on our own pace and if we get obsessed with phonetics, well we can just talk about phonetics all semester. i have this idea that it won't be too difficult to find articles for us. see that's the thing...articles vs. textbook. i'm thinking articles to illustrate textbook and relating to the language of the month. our next meeting is wenesday in the john b. of yet it's just officers since we haven't got our paperwork straightened out.


i think our secretary was going to take care of that.

wonder how it's going...

anyhow I at least would heartily appreciate that heh

cuz i hate paperwork. he also seems keen on drawing up a budget (altho what it would be used for i'm not sure)

anyhow things are busy and more under control. the only remaining puzzle piece (a big one) is going to be the big projects. i don't have to think too hard about my eac research paper at the moment...but i've got this mgm presentation/paper and in a couple weeks our first asian cinemas paper is some point there will be the kurosawa presentation.

i think i need to psych myself up for these papers.

something has to be done. i dunno how tho.

forced application of self i guess...

interspersed with bukowski

you know, reading his biography, a lot of other authors are mentioned, many of whom i've never heard of even tho they seem very famous

i'm beginning to wonder how long i should carry on the bukowski project. hot water music will be over soon and then i was planning on reading ham on rye. maybe i will do more poetry first and then do a couple novels...or maybe it should just be a semester long spree and i should read as much as possible. you definitely get more a feel for a writer when reading systematically...i still don't feel very smart tho...

look at that...from optimism to pessimism in a few paragraphs..

i sure know how to bring me down V_V

in other news i've been chatting in japanese lately and hopefully i'll be able to use kana and kanji once my laptop gets here...

mom is sending it today XD

my own net connection...

this will harken back to those early days on prospect.

haha "those early days on prospect"

maybe someday there will be reason to use such epic phrasing on me ne

right now it's back to the grind

i should be pounding out some kanji!!!

ciao ;p

Friday, September 16, 2005

failure (spoilers for collateral)

wow pizza mission utter disaster

i ate FOUR FREAKIN' pieces

holy crud

i feel so gross

it was reallllly good pizza

but ewww

since when do i eat four pieces of pizza?

i'm trying to think up a suitable punishment...

no dessert tomorrow seems too lenient

obviously i won't be eating pizza for a while

i really just don't eat pizza as a rule here at school

this was a special occasion

still no reason to eat four pieces ne

the good thing is that i think i should be able to start working out again next week




i think we're gonna get some coffee

actually my roommate is gonna go and bring it back...

tonite there is a steve mcqueen marathon at someone's dorm/house/something so i think i'm gonna go to that

i saw collateral too...what a kickin' movie...

very excited at having seen that

tom cruise is just as hot as anticipated

and wow just a really well put together film

what are peoples' opinions on the weird camera moves a few shots from the end tho? when vincent is dead in the subway?

bleh bleh bleh too much pizza >_<

the fourth piece was just a total mistake...pilot error...

tomorrow for dinner they are SUPPOSEDLY having vegan i guess if i do that and not have cornbread if they offer it and have japanese for apple and some wasa crackers with a dab of pb for breakfast...that sounds good...maybe...i hate food lol

pizza is a guiltifier




Thursday, September 15, 2005

it never ends... (AND help california win marriage equality)

yeah i am getting this feeling that i will never get better...

my hypochondria is showing >_<

but still

i'm sick of coughing

so last night i slacked off completely and talked to a friend online in japanese for two hours

a japanese friend

it was really nice

i was sooooo stressed out and so just relaxed for a while

today was kinda stressful; i'm really worried about my history paper...

we did tai chi outside this morning o_O

i didn't do any of my film reading but that's ok. i didn't need to have really to understand the lecture today and i've got a catch up schedule that takes the pressure off...

today we signed up for our group projects and i will be working on MGM...even tho i wanted to do RKO...


anyhow that project will entail a 5-7 page paper about some specific facet of that studio...iiii dunno

i don't even know my group members...

i decided to do away with the asian film series...there are enough films to see on campus (many of them even asian) and i'm friends with some people who want me to be president of the linguistics club and i want to put a lot of effort into that to make it a worthwhile group.

this weekend the PRIDE alliance is putting together a booth and stuff we're going to run all next week to promote the marriage equality bill. this is a big deal because if california makes same sex marriage legal it becomes a precedent in the country. Hopefully more states would join after that. Anyhow it's ridiculous because Schwarzenegger might veto it. He wants to go with the people tho, SO we're going to have a big event including even (apparently) media coverage. I dunno...high aspirations I guess but people say they have connections so we may make some news. Basically it will be education on the issue with encouragement to call the office (which is taking phone calls and e-mails from ANYWHERE not just california: 916-445-2841. push 2 and state your opinion on legislation, push 1 (gender-neutral marriage bill - Senate Bill 849) and push 1 to support) and sign a petition. we're also doing this thing called "A Show of Hands" as a visual representation. Supporters will either trace or pain stamp their hands on a big huge sheet of paper. We'll write a letter and get our opinion across...should be exciting. I really hope it goes through.

The other thing is that Fall PRIDE week and National Coming Out Week are only a few days after the day the issue is decided. It's either going to be really happy or really depressing : /

what else...

i dunno...

my mom sent me happy things :D

i guess that's all

have a good day ;p

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


yeah so i take allegra now...for my allergies...yes that's all...the coughing and hacking and not being able to talk due to the crummy air conditions here in the valley

"here in the valley"



and i'm beginning to wonder if there is a connection between drinking too much coffee and having peanut butter banana oatmeal...


also i should be reading my chinese heritage book but i'm not...

i will in a minute tho

just wanted to record some rambles first


i need to revisualize the act of reading and separate it from this chore paradigm...just cuz something is assigned doesn't mean i have to THINK of it as assigned...

i've become an underliner

i doubt that will really help me in the end.

for film history the lectures are usually very helpful so that is ok...

but for eac he wants us to write outlines which i admit will be helpful for studying but it takes an awful lot of time.

i've got to study japanese too

so it's best to be jammin'


(here's to hoping for summer in paris *CLINK*)

Monday, September 12, 2005

nihongo no kuizu

hahaha i didn't know the word for dress...i'm not sure what he wanted...i put a katakana paraphrase and the kanji for kimono (even tho kimono obviously means kimono) heh...but that was the only thing i screwed up as far as i know. i wrote polite form...which should be fine as he didn't specify. i finished way early and when he came over and told me i could leave in japanese i replied in french..."d'accord" yeah...obvioulsy not quite altogether there lol

he gave us candy :D


that's cool

he had nori snacks too but the thing is that he opened the candy and passed it whereas the nori snacks he said we could open and grab ourselves...none of us were feeling bold enough to open the bag heh

i guess i will go eat lunch...i had breakfast around quarter to nine or nine or something so it's still a bit early but i am kinda hungry so i might as well...

yum i think there is jambalaya...

as for the afternoon it will be the intro to hong kong cinema and then work...

and i should start working on chapter one of the japanese book...we're finally done reviewing!!!

the kanji is a nice mix of ones i know and ones i don't know so it won't be too hard...the vocab is mostly old with some new...i dunno...reviewing never killed anyone and the listening and speaking practice is worth it :D

gotsa jam!

OK Kids...

after a drawn out breakfast of peanut butter banana oatmeal and twice the amount of coffee i require, i am ready to begin the day.

i still can't really talk. the novelty of the condition has been rubbed and scratched away like the outer layers of my throat. nah i'm making it sound worse than it is. i'm really not even that sore most of the time. just this mostly pathetic-sounding cough.

here is some big news which is ACTUALLY PERTINENT to this my intelligent blog which has been so defaced in recent times by emotional upheaval: i signed on for a "getting started in t&i" workshop in san francisco. it's put on by the northern california translator's association and will take place the 15th of october.

"A wide variety of useful themes will be covered, including concrete tips and resources on topics such as education (T & I schools, professional seminars, continuing-education opportunities, self-study, etc.); certification exams; office equipment and organization; marketing one’s services to agencies and direct clients; evaluating, meeting and exceeding clients’ expectations; the negotiation and drafting of contracts; resources for information on agencies’ reputations and payment practices; quality assurance; professional ethics; compensation; computers and CAT programs; research methodologies; creating and updating glossaries; reading for self-improvement; glossary creation and maintenance; bookkeeping issues; and T & I associations and conferences."

stoked indeed.

i like the idea of "useful themes" especially. application is essential.

you know i mentioned coffee earlier and after the cup i had at the asian art museum in san francisco the other day...(mmm san francisco...) i have noticed the submediocrity of our cafeterias version of the most wonderful drink. i've graduated from half milk half coffee and sugar to a dab of milk mixed with a packet of splenda which i drown with decaf. one or two cups...i really should only have i had two. but yes it's rather tasteless and lukewarm as compared with steaming othercoffee...from practically anywhere i imagine. maybe the decrease in milk content is due to this fact alone and i am still a poor example of a coffee enthusiast.

i wonder if i can really say enthusiast. i say it only because i have enthousiasm for coffee, not necessarily any snobbish taste or expert knowledge. i'm a ramblin' amateur.

and thus the bell strikes ten...

in an hour i have a japanese quiz that should be terribly simple. i would hate to think that and, through cockiness, miss things that, would i have taken even the most cursory last minute glance at the material, i could've done perfectly.

that sentence is a bit unclear isn't it. i wonder if there are any grammatical problems or if it's just not well thought out. i'll leave it like that and you can comment on the ineptitude as you see fit :D

it's not really ineptitude tho because obviously as i comment now i could be reworking it to a more acceptable form.

this morning i read about hong kong cinema. we were assigned the introduction to a book. i wish we had time to read the book...i should be reading more film stuff.

right now i'm still working on bukowski's bio and some short stories to be followed eventually by at least one novel and possibly a collection of correspondance...i dunno. maybe there is no end to the bukowski tunnel and i'll be sucked in. that's cool too. i can always return later. i have a pretty framework for reading his stuff now. it's nice to do these in-depth sort of looks instead of hopping around to various people. it does leave one a bit impatient tho, when you think of all the great writers out there. also in progress is the history of the world. just closing up the era before ancient greece right now...

last night i read the first chapter of the our third film textbook (Koszarski, An Evening's Entertainment) it's book three of history of the american cinema)

(hey does anyone know Chicago style notes as opposed to MLA? the terrifying east asian civ paper requires that...and a topic...and a bibliography heh)

anyhow this new textbook is much more least so far. far more readable...more narrative, even while throwing names and dates at you in the most rapid succession. i recognize some names now, but it is really hard to remember to which company they belong to, will belong to, who goes with who to start what, who fails with which company only to rise again as the head of some other thing which you maybe thought went down with the rest long ago.

the striking thing is that we've only covered approximately 8 years so far...1907-1915...the new book will take us through '28. we've read so much but it's all on overlapping time. sorta hard to get the big picture. i will have to go over my lecture notes and try to find a thread...or maybe our teacher will give us a thread...i dunno. (laziness corrupts my ethic...)

ah yes...well it is definitely time to have a last minute session with those old kanji...this test is so much review for me, as it is for them. but really, some of these kanji are ones i have known since high school before i even started classroom-style learning of the language. sadly, byouin has been still threatening to kick my ass. i do know it now tho...i think.

and my laptop should be here soon!

so i won't have to borrow my roommate's heh

yeah...well i'm off after all that...

moshi moshi...nihongo desu....

Sunday, September 11, 2005

frustration and minor illness

east asian civ paper is already driving me insane...i'm gonna go spill my guts to my prof and see what he says. i feel like i could use counselling on this issue. like...psychiatric.

i'm still sick. can't really talk very well. mom says to gargle.

wish i had a boyfriend.

uhm...san francisco is calling me. i need to go back. i need to go. i need to be there.

altho historias minimas reminded me of the wide open spaces and that part of kafka on the shore where kafka is in the woods...

i saw hills and windpower today

as well

i am staying up late so i sleep in until breakfast opens at 10:30 cuz i want to have eggs and stuff...maybe a donut...but having a donut would be dumb cuz i wanted to go to the greek food fest later and they will have pastry there

i hate food

and i hate the fact that to go to the greek food fest would be spending money PLUS forfeiting the meal i already bought at the dining hall

anytime i want to eat anything other than school food it is a forfeiture


and this obnoxious cough...

and my roommate fighting with her bf even tho he is supposedly coming out here on friday...they just go and go everyday

i shoudln't complain tho

about anything


s'what i learned from the tibet exhibit today


i guess i tend to wallow. that is such an ugly hateful word.

hateful like immature is hateful.

like "pity party"

these are things that i try not to use on people i guess

because of how deeply hurtful they are

hmm maybe that's not really true...well i guess i don't ever call people immature to their faces...



i'm so dumb

and i'm really bad at college

brian and i had another one of those talks we have

about paperwriting

i just suck basically at this whole college "idea"

i dunno

maybe i should just disagree with him

and find another view

so i'm gonna talk to my prof like i said and see what he has to offer

probably nothing

i feel misunderstood

or just




which is so cliche as to piss me off


and probably immature

being 20 and in college is dumb i guess i've decided that

but i guess everything is dumb

to be cliche again: the grass is always greener...

maybe that is it

i will never be content with my life cuz i'm unoriginal and can't ever be happy doing what i'm doing...always have to be looking ahead and finding the next plateau of supposedly attainable genius

yeah right

bull shit


ah this should've been put in my other blog

the secret one

it wasn't supposed to be so dark

but oh well

that's how it turned out

i should just quit writing here

this was supposed to be my academic blog.

i'm not academic; who am i kidding?

i feel an intense lack of understanding of everything (on the majority of all parts)

pathetic isn't a very nice word...

but that's about the only one that fits now.

basically i need someone to convince me i'm intelligent enough to do this and then to show me how. i need instruction.

am i just lazy? or stupid? i hope not

i think maybe i just underestimate myself

but i can't help it

because obviously for some reason i'm not pulling through

and i don't mean that you can walk up to me and tell me that no, contrary to what i may believe i AM smart

cuz that just makes me want to kick your teeth in

and when i say that

i visualize my foot entering your mouth THROUGH your smiling face

and the blood getting all over my sneakers, your teeth caving into the gaping oozing pit

so don't think i'm not violent cuz i might be

ahhh what am i even saying

i would never DO that
but i do think it

i think usually it's cuz i am usually quite pissed off when i say that

so i tend to think about things that go with the mood

and never carry them out

i hate myself

this is one of those nights

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


blah i'm sick and tired and bored...probably i should just go to bed and get up tomorrow for class lol

i had a good sandwich :D


i miss paris lol


yeah my throat hurts


my east asian civilization class was cancelled on the homework was pushed back until tomorrow which means no new assignments

i'm sorta in a crabby mood

being sick


blah blah blah



i don't really have anything to say

i just feel like i haven't been here in a while

so i'm here lol


Friday, September 02, 2005


so this afternoon i picked up next year's recommended grammar book. It's not really a text book...more like trouble shooting for different grammar points. my prof actually wrote it tho so that is kinda nifty.

i also got a book on critical theory.

so excited :D

annnnd i went to the grocery store for some laundry detergent and wasa cracker things


i'm really thirsty lol

i've been wondering if i really need to stop thinking about chinese or not

oh i gave my speech in class this went ok i guess. i get all intimidated. hopefully i didn't sound too dumb.

lab is closing : / so i'll be going



my critical thinking blog

yeah i need to learn to formulate some paths of inquiry here or something.

i just read this super interesting article about eroticism, film, and history and one would THINK that i'd have about a thousand things to say. i should be able to write mountains on it. reflecting and applying and connecting...

it's not happening!!!


i'm not stupid! why can't i think then?

i found some lit theory books in the library last night, but not a kanji dictionary. thus a third of my japanese homework due to my unfortunate illiteracy is left undone.


i need to just go buy one.


i also need to read more. and more outside class.

if such a thing is possible.

for tuesday i have to prepare 24 arguments with specific facts (for and against twelve debate topics) plus read (EAC)

i also have five chapters of film history to read...

monday is labor day so the other homework will be for wednesday...

that's interesting

you know the mwf really get ripped off...because A) they are only 1h30 instead of 2h plus B) we only ever really have fridays or mondays of (unless it's winter break or something like that)

so i wrote a speech for japanese class...

i should put it up here...maybe i will later cuz i don't really have time right now.

i'm not really sure we were supposed to actually write a speech. in fact i know we weren't. i dunno. he just wanted us to talk. i'm sure everyone wrote and memorized tho. if he wants spontanaeity (let's go learn how to spell that word...) whoa...that was weird...i put in something with just sort of random vowels at the end cuz i didn't know what they were and i was RIGHT: spontaneity. so anyhow if he wanted spontaneity he shouldn't have assigned it as a week-long "project."

also i don't like this practice of defining lists. it's very superficial. if we need to be learning topics we should spend a day or a week or a unit or something on a specific topic.

also...the need for themed vocab lessons is demonstrated at least in MY brain (which is after all a representative of human brains) in it's tendancy to web things. if you can't think of the word for look for other dairy products? or other food? or cereal? and try to find phrases that may include milk. so if you learn milk with the word chair they are NOT connected and thus the neurons are very week and DIE.



i think that really is quite a case.


Wednesday, August 31, 2005

sprinklers and skateboards

two things you find all over campus.

people ride skateboards all the time. it's like a serious mode of transport here. i mean yeah they're kick flipping them all over the parking lots sometimes too but more often they're just getting to that's interesting.

then yeah...walking home at night you sometimes have to dodge sprinklers and then sometimes it's made so that you would have to take a huge detour if you don't want to get wet...which is really annoying (cuz usually i just get wet...i mean if it's midnight you would kinda rather just be in bed V_V)

the other common campus item is this variety of small vehicle. it's orange and white...and sort of like a van...truck...bus...only miniature. useful for transporting people and goods...

i dunno

funny things...

yeah i'm sitting here chillin' when i should be reading or something. it's ok tho. i'm going to work and if we're not busy i'll just read there.

jammin' out!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Edwin S. Porter Terrifies Small Children

I dunno...would've probably traumatized me anyhow...Goldilocks and the Three Bears but with a hunter who shoots the parent bears at the end...and they go steal teddy bear acrobats (stop motion at that...very eerie...)

i dunno @_@ lol

We also saw this ubershort about a shoe salesman who is fitting this lady right? and she lifts her skirt a show some not really leg but stocking and suddenly he's like...kissing her (cuz THAT'S a natural reaction) and since her mom is right there he gets whacked over the head repeated. Apparently that was amusing.

Thankfully sound and the Marx Brothers follow in less than three decades :D lol

I was given the screening from last week...but haven't gotten to see it yet. Tomorrow is gonna be yet another crazy busy hardcore day:

11:00 japanese
12:20 lunch
12:30 Asian Cinema
2:00 meet with French prof
here is my first break of the day...shortlived tho and probably devoted to homework...or e-mail
4:00 work
5:00 film screening (probably right after this i will dash to the dining hall for a to-go box)
7:00 work
8:00 watch make up screening
followed by the rest of the my homework which is...a chapter of the current (out of six remember) film history book and a bunch of analects. if i have time i should really try to get some of the stuff for friday done too cuz its' a sizable amount...of...stuff...including an article for asian cinema, a japanese intro speech, and bite-size info on about ten japanese culture figures...


and then there's work in there...and stuff

and i'm TRYING to set up an asian film series


so much to do

this weekend there is a pow-wow (no a real one)

a native american thing at school on hand hall lawn. so that should be interesting. definitely head down there.

one thing about being so busy is that you really appreciate bed and you really appreciate weekends.

even tho you spend them doing homework anyhow...


Sunday, August 28, 2005

franceinfo *spoilers for Raise the Red Lantern*

makes me miss paris

they're playin' funky music...i guess cuz it's the middle of the night there : /

interesting stuff...

i kinda like it...i hope they mention what it is...


so i've found that having this blog is almost a pain because it doesn't serve the same purpose as my parisian blog and yet it's still accessible to the same folks who read that one.

i thought about getting a xanga for a while...

see cuz i still have to talk to everyone in my family and whatever about what's going on whereas in paris i just blogged and they knew what happened

here it's just a doubling

which i should just change the point BUT its' like i said...they could stumble upon it and then what

oh well

yeah i like franceinfo


so today i read Wives and Concubines (aka Raise the Red Lantern)

I have to say I really didn't like any of the characters except MAYBE Feipu. (That was his name right?) All the endless jealous bitch fights etc etc just annoyed me half to death. I wasn't surprised when they threw Coral into the well...I figured as much, and then Lotus went insane. WHY? I was just frustrated with the whole thing. 99 pages of frustration was too much...

esp after all that dense film history stuff. Different companies and exchanges, FSA, Motion Picture Patent Company, Nation Board of Censorship to the National Board of Review, Biograph, IMP, General Flimco...etc etc It just gets muddled after a while and you have no idea what's going on. All I know is that the independents started making some headway! Good for them! I'm glad.

ok now i'm kinda mad...i want news and the music got boring...

maybe i should switch and go listen to the voiceblog i like. i'm WAY behind!


*ponders things*

Saturday, August 27, 2005

prose and poetry and groceries

so the bbq was pretty fun. well it was ok anyhow

turns out my supervisor lex is in 2 of my classes.


she didn't work as long as i did tho.

I saw Sin City, what a cool movie. I didn't think I would like it cuz of the gore and such but I actually really did. The stylization makes it so fun to watch...pretty...*drool* I'm thinking about going to see it again alTHO now I see that I can take movies out of the library...which I can watch at work. I should go check out the collection...

so i just printed out this short story we have to read for monday (Asian Cinema). it's quite long...45 8 x 11s

it's cool tho. this morning i read all the analects stuff assigned for Tuesday...

analects - Selections from or parts of a literary work or group of works. Often used as a title.

yay confucius...

uhmmmmmm and then what else. so for the rest of the day i will read film and do japanese and see a movie annnnd maybe read some more stuff lol cuz i sure have a lot to do.

in other news nicole and i were stood up today! we were supposed to meet a guy i know and he didnt' show.

which was lame.

we DID however go grocery shopping. i got a luna bar, almonds, water, dried plums, and cereal bars. we don't have a microwave or fridge yet.

i also have an orange and a peach i stocked up from meals.

OOOH today was vegan chili and cornbread for dinner yummmmm

and german chocolate cake for dessert XD

that chili was killer tho...sooooo tasty.

back to shopping tho...the store isn't toooo far but it about triples the distance when you have to carry a case of 24

there is a deli over there i want to check out. maybe i will do that tomorrow afternoon. they have falafel (yum)

errr OH and one of my friends introduced me to bukowski and it turns out that they have quite a few of works here at the library so i'm happy. i like poetry but only if i like know what i mean?


so it turns out nicole likes him as well

i'd never heard of him

Friday, August 26, 2005

spam comments? lol

did anyone notice that last comment? how obnoxious o_o

hmmmm so what was i going to say?

oh i really want to start an asian film series here. i'm going to ask if we could run it in the PRIDE center since the equipment is there and it's a good environment. that would be SWEET.

i even e-mailed the dude who's in charge currently at UWM to get advice. :D really does seem like ther was something more pertinent.

oh there was stuff i wanted to mull over but wasn't going


and i learned about the periodization by generation directors of chinese cinema today :D i feel so informed. my classes are the best ones.

there is one guy i met who i have class with EVERYDAY lol. we have asian cinmea mwf and film history tr

that is pretty goofy

in fact we could work it so we did group projects together for both classes and be hardcore study buddies.

i really need someone else to hang out with. he commutes tho so it could be difficult. i suppose he will have to do group projects either way tho ne...


there has to be one! i need it!

now! lol

Thursday, August 25, 2005

haha...funny...this was from the 21st...

Today I finally registered which is such a relief.

I even finagled my way into all the classes I wanted…well sort of.

I found out that the Modern Japanese Lit course is advanced Japanese which is odd cuz all the required books are in English??? But whatev…

So what am I taking?

Math for losers (as soon as I REtest since I failed the first one so horribly)
Japanese (better be third semester but we’ll see…I haven’t talked to a prof or tested yet…)
East Asian History I (this was actually full but they signed me up anyhow ;D)
Asian Cinemas (sooooooo excited)

So basically I have three quarters bliss and one quarter flaming hell…

That’s manageable I suppose

Also I may be getting a job at the Pride Resource Center which is killerDDR club is every Monday XD (Nicole, my roommate, and I found this out last night…we played and tried to do well but we just looked stupid haha. There are some crazy people there tho o_o whoa…I think there was at least one guy on Challenge mode or something…getting perfects and goods the whole way)

Might start playing soccer again…for the clubWill not join a sorority (altho I did gank some free breakfast this morning off them)

There is a BBQ next FridayAnd actually tomorrow as well…or something like one…a luau…but I mean how much do you want to bet they will serve burgers? I’ll stick to the meal plan lol

Actually there is a BBQ in less than an hour…Which is actually ok cuz I did lunch reallllll light at about 11:30 cuz breakfast was at 9:30 and lunch was nonexistent until this BBQ and blah blah blah

Stupid trying to plan food around anything other than your body!

Annnnnnnd…what else…So that “up all night thing” yeah we played DDR and sorta danced a little…me ‘n Nicole…lookin’ like goofballs OH BUT CUZ WE WERE lol

I’ve also been playing a lot of Final Fantasy…I’m stuck tho…dunno where to go…I got the mystical key…or whatev and went back to some places and got some treasures…and a little elf keeps telling me about a buried flying ship? And also…a cave with a monster? I dunno…I tried going back to the first cave where it all rotted and caved-in or whatever but nothing happened…maybe I should talk to the man again…bleuh

HmmmmmDid I already talk about the hypnotist the other night?

I have never been to one before and I have to say it was probably one of the single most hilarious episodes of my entire life.

Also let me just clarify right now for anyone who was confused that I am not in any way susceptible to being hypnotized….which is kinda too bad cuz I think it would be fun. Not only did I completely fail the susceptibility test but I really don’t think it surprised me at all, nor would it surprise anyone else who knows me, that I just don’t lose control of my mind like that lolIt was just insane tho. He had them land on mars and be accosted by aliens and the FACES on these people were just a riot.

There was a dating show where they had to be the opposite sex and the THINGS that came out of these peoples’ MOUTHS were just totally crazy. Ex. “Hi I’m Rick. I like’em either really old or really young…and I don’t need to keep’em around for very long…” “Ok…anything…else?” “hmm…I don’t last very long” *saunters off and sits down* So this was some tan cali chick…lol and oh there was this gay guy who turned into a lesbian which was crazy and then at the end of everyone’s introductions he went on a rant about how women need to stand up for themselves and not be treated like objects lol

There are really too many stories from those two hours…to list…it just goes on and on and on.


Anything else?

Ice cream tomorrow!


What else…

So much goes on here lol it’s crubazubery! XD

Having fun but it’s kind of lonely too because I don’t really know anyone. Lots of social activity but I haven’t made any FRIENDS yet…only acquaintances or not even that. Nicole is cool tho. I’m really glad we’re roomies. Some of the people I met already I would totally hate to room with but she is definitely a-ok.

Welp I guess that’s it. Maybe I will see if I can buy my books yet. That would be fun XD At least for history and cinema…should wait on the Japanese to find out for sure which course I’m in…and of course on the math since I haven’t even added it yet…cuz I dunno what I’ll end up in….hopefully I’ll pass this new test I have to take otherwise I will have to take TWO math classes…Gah…*cry*it’s sort of a bummer tho…I will only have 15 units this semester…stupid four unit classes…who came up with that anyhow??

Grr X_X

So it goes…


so the story behind that it was posted on the WRONG BLOG haha

it went on my old one from Paris

how stupid XD

anyhow...problem solved...enjoy...

or hello...

Well i decided not to crush my dreams by not taking film history so i will deal with math next semester. actually they also recommended that freshies not take that course and while i am not a freshie it IS my first year HERE and it will definitely take some getting used to...

for instance

i have over fifty pages to read for my film history class
at least 45 for asian film
probably around 50 for my east asian civ class


it's all good stuff tho

today i actually found out that i need five MORE textbooks for my film history class. there is the straight up film history book, and then this series of big normal thickness textbooks on american cinema that we have to get. i got three of them today. two they didnt' have new and i don't want scribbled-on copies. for my main subjects i am picky!!! (of course the math book i have is used...i'll save it for next semester...

what else...

well i already left a big note on last post about my japanese class.

i tested into fourth semester...i think i said that

i also tested into advanced french, altho i can't say i didn't expect that

prof is impressed :D which is the best thing he could possibly be :D

besides that tomorrow is (as i have been recounting continously all week) the big BBQ...putting in probably...7 or 8 hours tomorrow doing that. should be fun tho :D

i guess that's it...i have to do some work on japanese now (and catch up on my voice blog listening! lol)


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Farewell to Film History this is one class I have ALWAYS wanted to take since like MIDDLE SCHOOL and now I can't because it's offered once every two years and...grr.

This is not really true. Maybe I could take it in Japan? I dunno.

Probably not.

I dunno.


Also I've discovered that to minor in French I will basically have to major because 12 of the 20 credits have to be taken in the dept here. So by the time I take those I basically have the major minus the proficiency test. I should talk to someone over there in the dept.


other news...

I'm just gonna have to pretend I know what's going on in my textbook and read it with the missing chunk cuz there's nothing I can do before tomorrow.


So I'm off to do that.

Nicole is fun! I'm so glad we're colocs.

et oui...le francais me manque meme si je ne trouve pas les accents. j'aime mieux le clavier francais mais ici ils ont seulement les claviers pour des langues comme le japonais et le koreen...c'est ca koreen? (accent aigue...)


yeah i totally wish they had the french keyboard. i would be all over that.

being in france is way better for your french than being in california.