Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Good news from a zombie

Between the heat here in Stockton and the (most mental, but still) energy I'm expending, I feel absolutely drained. Astronomy was quite the slog, but luckily an hour and a half isn't toooooo long. The lecture was rather boring because he used the online modules that came with our textbook which I had already perused yesterday evening. Anyways, since I don't have too much food yet, I grabbed a sandwich (mustard, lettuce, tomato, roast beef, cheddar on a wheat roll) and a soda (Henry Weinhard's Black Cherry Cream) at the Summit. Hopefully food and sugar will wake me up. Just feeling generally unwell.

Ok, but there is good news as promised, and that good news is as follows: I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL (after this semester.)



The final class listing is: Astronomy (with a lab), Great Ideas in Computing (which doesn't seem as lame as it sounds), US Gov & Politics, Advanced Japanese, and an independent study in Japanese film.

That last item is the surprise film studies minor finisher offer as well, which RATHER rocks.

Honestly, though, at this point I'm having better luck comprehending the scale of the universe (really damned big) than the reaches of my schedule. I'm not going to take my recently checked-out library books back quite yet, but soon. Actually, maybe I will. It's better to wait until I can actually appreciate them. In any case, I've got way too much to read. All of my classes are fairly demanding, and I want to do well. This and the fact that soon I will be playing City of Heroes with the boy, which is almost like recreational reading (only more social and with superpowers.)

What else have I been thinking today...

OH YEAH. I got an e-mail from these fellows today in response to an inquiry from almost a month ago. I don't really remember the ad I was answering so I don't remember what exactly the deal entailed, but there may be a video game writing opportunity in there somewhere.

So tired and blerfy.

There was more to say, and probably more INTERESTING things to say, but I'm so...exhausted. I can't believe how much random shit takes out of a person. In fact, you wouldn't believe how much stress flies almost under the radar, like the stress of switching grocery stores (which I may have discussed yesterday? Bags, not boxes, of peas? DAMN THEM TO HELL!), or the stress of using the dishes and untensils of nearly complete strangers.

Anyhow, time for a rest or something. Need to recuperate a bit before launching into the homework...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Well, after having astronomy yesterday, I decided that I'm definitely taking that class. Prof seems really cool and I'll be able to live down dropping it my...freshman year was it? Anyways, I'm much more motivated this time.

About fifteen minutes before US Gov & Politics started this morning I decided I'd rather do that than Econ, so I ran out the door to see if it was worthwhile. Unexpectedly, the course will be taught exactly how Carl Sagan said it should be in that book I recently finished. We're going to be picking apart the constitution and then writing our own. This means lots of groupwork, presentations, etc, but it seems like I will be quite a bit more informed on the running of things after that. If I really do read magazines at the library like I always intend, then maybe I'll become more politically aware as planned!!

So those two. I have Japanese at 3. The rest is up in the air until I talk to Dr. Cipris. If he says I can graduate after this semster I will add a Japanese independent study and Great Ideas in Computing. If NOT, I'm going to do an elective independent study of Mark Twain (which regrettably will NOT count for my American GER, which is why I'm taking US Gov & Politics.)

One Semester: Two Semesters:
Astro Astro
Computing Mark Twain
J-indie -----
J indie
Tech (something like Computing)
Philosophy? Physics? Something else...

Yeah, I'm definitely going to take a full complement of classes second semester (if I have to stay.) Might as well get the most out of things. Not sure what the fourth class would be. Philosophy would be interesting. I never did get to take a philosophy class...

This afternoon I will buy notebooks and textbooks for Astro and US. There are FIVE books for the US class. Only one for Astro, but it costs OVER a hundred dollars. $_$

Still not sure what to do about meal plan. One of my friends in an apt a couple doors down mentioned that it's not worth it to get a five meal plan, that it's actually more expensive than getting single meals whenever (which I think costs seven bucks a pop. When you think that all I really grab when I go in there half of the time is a sandwich or a bagel...I could really be doing better for myself here.) I just need to grocery shop, I think, and then decide. Today for lunch I went to the Summit since the dining hall was so packed. The Summit was JUST as packed. I had sweet chili salmon and cold soba noodles. It wasn't very good despite the sound of it. Washed it down with a "coffee" flavored Starbucks frappuccino. Still tired, heh.

I think I'm going to head over to Baun (the fitness center, ne) today and see what the extra curriculars are this semester. If I can fit a yoga into my schedule, that might be cool. I'd like to be doing something, anyhow. Not biking at 6 am, though, that was not my thing...

The only other thing I can really say is that I don't inTEND for my blog to turn into my publically accessible calendar or to-do list. That said, I like to put things down on "paper" as I think it through, and this is my blog... I would like to be doing something with my Japanese blog (linked somewhere on my sidebar), but I'm not sure what. It's really boring just simplifying "what I did today" as posted here into something that I can say in Japanese there.

Hopefully there will be some shining moments of intelligence here...or something.

Anyhow, heading out.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Tough night

That says pretty much what I wanted to say. I feel kinda sick, but then I realized there are probably very mundane reasons behind it, so that's fine. Fine fine fine. I'm still trying to decide what meal plan I want.

I need to eat better.

Anyhow, I have sheets and stuff now, so I will be able to sleep much more comfortably than last night. Gonna stay up for just a couple hours and then crash delightfully (I hope) to sleep till whenever. Don't have anything in particular to accomplish tomorrow until 3, except a shower.


Been a bit of a day.

Linking with (almost) wild abandon

So I added too many links (mostly in the art section and a couple in wonderfulity) to really talk that much about. They are wonderful and will hopefully continue to be updated.

One interesting site I found that I didn't link is: Strange Little Girls. Well, I guess I linked it now. View at your own peril. The thing is that it seems kind of interesting but then some of it could be very the post of all the crying kids. I guess maybe I've been reading too much about pedophiles, lately, but it seems like something you could get in trouble for... None of the comments on the post seemed to creepy...hmm. I dunno. On the fence...any input?

I'm gonna see if I can indie study Mark Twain instead of doing econ.

And uh...I need lunch before I embark on this afternoon stuff.

Because there is no better way to cure midnight pizza burns

The roof of my mouth was not a happy camper this morning after my cereal and banana. All beat up and throbbing raw. Thankfully coffee, chocolate, and ice cream has amended all of this and more.

Or something.

So, it was really damnably cold last night, didn't sleep much, though I wore many clothes and my shoes. Today I will have blankets, so it won't be such a problem. The air is turned off now, too. Yeah, it's actually sort of WARM in here, now. Whooooo.

Went to the library. Picked up a bio of Mark Twain that I noticed at Cody's once day a while back. Also A History of the United States and Media Mythmakers. Should keep me busy after I finish The Web of Arachnos, which if I neglected to mention already, I am somewhat guiltily enjoying. much crud to do today that I don't really want to think too much about it until I have to go do it. Unfortunately there isn't too much I can get done RIGHT AT THIS SECOND, so I'll just be content to chill until I feel up to picking up the second of my two packages (got my bedding a bit ago...needed a break...)

It seems that I had more to say, but maybe I was making that up. Off to the internet.


Here we are back in Stockton at school. I have an apt this year/semester, so I get my own room and a kitchen. I'm pretty sure I'll be thinning my meal plan out to five a week, because cooking sounds good. There's even a couch... I have to admit, I'm pretty psyched about that. Luxury seating, oh yes.

My bed, however, is horribly lopsided.

I need to get one thing off my chest. Amtrak today, let me ride for free. Honestly, I tried to pay. I even had my money OUT when the guy came by, but he said he would come back later. Is it my fault if he never did? Or didn't notice when I just walked off the train? I suppose I could've said something to him on my way out, and I thought about it, but it's a little late to ask me to pay when I'm already on the street, isn't it? I dunno what he would've done. It was only 9 bux. They'll live. It's not as if I won't be riding them again. Am I a horrible person?

I finished reading The Demon-Haunted World on the way. Sagan made me wish I understand things better. Of course, I already wish I understood things better, but he made me wish it in a more...realistic way, I guess. I also think that his points about "basic research" being the cornerstone of innovation made a lot of sense. If I ever suddenly come into a zillion bajillion dollars, I will totally set up a fund for basic research. No curing cancer, or this or that, or coming up with fancy robots who wash your dishes. I will fund the guys to do whatever the hell they feel is worthwhile.

I remembered Ox, but I forgot hangers. That's ok, though. I'm going back on Friday to meet Scotty's parents. *EXCITED* (!!!!)

To fill in the City of Heroes gap, I've begun reading the first of...three? novels based on the game. It's campy and silly, but entertaining. I understand it's not exactly a "good book," but I really don't care :D

What else can I say? JD and I went out for Summit pizza (which is exactly the same as it always has been, which is fine, although for some reason you can't get sausage on it : /) to catch up. He looks a lot different, and I suppose I look...the same :D My hair is still a mop and I'm still relatively skinny.

So it goes.

There is an Adult Swim "screening" Sept 7 at Grace Covell with "free stuff." I don't necessarily know what this all entails, but I definitely like Adult Swim, so I'm thinking that's a go. Esp on a Thursday.

Tomorrow there is a meeting for work. Or...rather, for people who WANT to work where I used to work for all of last year. I feel like I should be high on the list of potential candidates. I know I wasn't supposed to be here this year, but since I am, I feel like I should get a spot on the roster. I was a pretty good employee, I thought.

If not that, then I will go to the meeting for the campus "grocery" (read: candy and chips) store.

I need tape so I can put up my posters. It is damned lifeless in here.

My roomies were all rather aghast at my lack of stuff. I feel sort of bad not contributing much (anything). It's all well and good to say you're "totally cool with sharing everything" EXCEPT when you don't actually bring anything to share. We may end up going three ways on a TV (once I get a job.) It seems like whoever WANTS a tv should just BUY one, though. I certainly can't see myself walking away with this tv. If NO ONE can, then we shouldn't get one. This is an issue I will bring up.

Well...that was a lot of random babble. Maybe staying up late will do that. I'm gonna read a book or play a game or something. In all probability, both, but not at the same time.

Friday, August 25, 2006



In other news...

"But surely readers expect critics to be better informed than themselves? Isn’t that what they’re paid for? Are not expertise, insight, wit, honesty and integrity the requirements of a good critic? Too often now such qualities are regarded suspiciously as evidence of an excessively arty, serious, snobby and ‘pseudy’ attitude to what, after all, is only entertainment. That’s why ‘the common touch’ is now favoured."

Argh, this is how I feel when I write anything!
Especially history essays.


Apparently I'm done with my job. That means my last night was a good night, completely with karate screaming porter power, a creepy guy, a pregnant lady, and too many cookies. Everything went very smoothly, though I was the only temp there. In fact, I think it was the earliest I've ever gotten off on a check-in night.

Yesterday was my day off and I went to Yusuke's house for lunch/dinner. It was amazing. A real dinner party! A bunch of his friends came and cooked from scratch all this awesome Asian food. A Vietnamese guy made rare (not that rare) beef with lemon dressing, another appetizer with shrimp, and this beef main dish, all with sauces made by hand. A Korean girl made this awesome fried noodle dish with carrots, mushrooms, spinach, and pork as well as a spicy soup with tofu. Yusuke made (my favorite of the bunch) Japanese fried chicken and bok choy in garlic. There was also tea, sparkling apple cider, grapes, and mint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert (my idea.)

We had such a great time. It's really cool to hang out with people from all different places. We talked about ディスニーランド and マック, also how in Korea apparently Pizza Hut is a fancy restaurant. Then we watched Only Yesterday, which is one of my favorite Ghibli films. So happy!

I went to bed kinda early and slept wayyyy too much, aside from some early morning unpleasantness. Anyhow, it is just way more fun to cuddle than to fill out myspace surveys. Apparently I'm supposed to help with moving stuff today for Jenn who is in Washington. There is a van. I thought it was supposed to be here by now, but she said she would call...


Hope I didn't miss it.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I feel entitled

to something tasty with coffee. I woke up at 7 this morning in order to appear promptly at the Crowne Plaza by 8. This was completely unnecessary.

No one told me when to show up today, and I figured since the past two days have been comparitively early starts (9 and 8 am) I would just come at 8 and that if I an hour early, it would be better than being late. Of course, if you're 8 hours early, that wisdom starts to sound a little sour.

I kinda blew the coffee thing, unless I get some from the grocery store. No one around here takes debit. I could've gone to Starbucks downtown, but I didn't really think it through well enough.


Yesterday I only worked three hours in the morning, so I was able to meet Scott for some lunchiness and then Yusuke came over. We watched The Chumscrubber, which was so good that I'm going to make Scott watch it with me later. There were also video games involved.

Anyhow...I guess I'm just bumming around until

Monday, August 21, 2006


I'm tired. I may just take a nap. They let me out of work early. For some reason we thought there was a check-in tonite, but there wasn't. Maybe they will call and send me to a different hotel, but I hope not. I just want to chill and relax.

This morning my main duty was waving a flag at departing busses. I think some of the tourists were very surprised to see me there waving at them. One lady even took a picture of me through the window >_<


tomorrow at 8, I guess.

Test 2

This is a pretty sweet font. I wonder if blogger will publish it just like this or not...


Do you suppose?


I tried to get it to add LD as one of the blogs I publsih to from here, but it seems to be having a hard time "detecting the editing style." Maybe they are incompatible?


I think I will sign up for a windows live account or whatever-dee-doo...






First Windows Live Writer (Beta) Test

Well, this is interesting, I guess. My word processing skills aren't really  that terrific to begin with. For instance, I don't know how to get the text to go up there next to the (slightly dated) picture (of me). That would be much more attractive...*nevermind


I like 1Up.

Well, that's handy, anyhow.

Basically this is supposed to synch up somehow with Blogger. I can publish straight from here.


Let's see if it works... 

What do you MEAN they don't support image publishing? I guess you have to upload them...separate? Well, that sorta borks this idea. What would be the point of using this if I had to go back into Blogger to edit anyways?



Maybe it would be better to get a Windows Live account.  

Attack of the dress pants

Yeah, the kind that come up to your RIBS >_< They're really cool as far as dress pants go, but totally uncomfy. Not exactly a hit in the newest style. They're also itchier than I thought.

Today is the Marriot again. I really thought that it was only a check-OUT today, which probably wouldn't meant the afternoon off, but instead it seems we will be there all day, or at least I will, since my partner has to leave for a class.

Last night I saw the movie Primer. Wasn't really in the right frame of mind, and it definitely deserves a second viewing. Got some twisty bits. Anyhow, the website seems worth checking out as well, but I have to get going to work soon...or now. I also need coffee...

As nice as it is to have something to do everyday, I do sort of wish it wasn't EVERY day. Working the weekend was a little depressing, esp since it's my last full weekend in San Francisco before school starts >_< Thursday I get to be at home, but of course Scott will still be working. I have a project for LD to do, though, and should probably start getting ready for...


Bleh bleh bleh. I just want to have fun...or something.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Quite Busy

Friday was a total fiasco. Ten busses and the rooming lists weren't done when they arrived. We had to stand outside for a long time and it was pretty damned cold.

Yesterday was better. 7 busses, everything went very smoothly. For some reason, though, they called us to work at 3:30. We seriously sat there and did absolutely nothing for four hours. In fact, we went out for coffee, and peed. I think that is all. I'm brining video games and a book today.

Scott and I were going to see Tron, but I had a stomach ache and we were both tired, so we ended up staying home and playing video games instead. I had a lot of fun, but I still feel like I sort of wussed out. I saw the map of where the theater was and it wasn't nearly as far away as I thought it was. Maybe we should've gone. Anyways, either way, we had fun, so hopefully...that's good.

I can't believe school starts in a week. Everything is finally almost set up. I have an apt and roommates and most of my books or anything, though. Jeez. I didn't even think of that. I have to figure out how I get my keys and things. The first couple days will be quite stressful, I'm sure, but I think at the end of that week I get to come back to San Francisco to chill with my Scotty.

Other than that? Video games, pancakes, thrift stores. THE WORKS.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


I think I am eating more like a college student this summer (when I'm not even at college) than I ever have in my whole life. I've mellowed out to the point where I don't mind TOO much right NOW, but I will mind a LOT if I gain 20 lbs (in pure fat.)


see, that's what worries me.

I think I started this line of thought when I came to the realization that a quesadilla is pretty much pizza, which is one thing I have been enjoying quite a lot lately (with alcohol, at Jenn's...I see a trend *squint* ^_~)

JTB land

Today was my first REAL day of work. Honestly, it was a lot better than I expected. I have NO idea what I'm going to wear tomorrow, but I'm not dreading going aside from that minor point. Even though it's pretty tiring, I really enjoyed it, and at the end of the night when all the bags are being delivered after you tag them, you feel like you really accomplished something, which is more than you can say about some jobs.

I worked at the the Crowne Plaza hotel today. Actually, it was a little goofy, because they had us go into the office FOR NO REASON at 11 am. We sat there for a half hour and then went to our respective hotels. When we arrived they told us there was nothing for us to do, and to come back at 3. So we all went to lunch, but then I got a call saying that I should go to a different hotel where we, for the most part, did nothing. Then we had to put some inserts in a free touristy guidebook dealio. There were a hundred some to do, but there were a bunch of us folding and stuffing, so it was fine. Then we sat some more. It's really hard to complain about being bored when you're getting paid, though...

Finally it was almost 3, so we headed back to the Crowne Plaza to...stuff more hand-outs. That was great, ha. There were various other tasks, and the afternoon was whiled away talking in English or (listening in) Japanese, a Starbucks run, checking hotel rooms, arranging keys, and then I had to go buy a cake! It was someone's birthday. I was really glad they let me go. I volunteered because everyone else was busy and I don't think they thought I could handle it, but I did. W00t! And then I got candles. (Someone named Kaori's birthday...)

Finally, after all our careful preparation, it was SHOW-TIME! At 7:30 the busses started pulling up. We were doing five. The porters unloaded the luggage and it was our responsibility to compare the tour ID on the bags to a list of room numbers and tag them all accordingly. This was the most hectic part of the day, but also the most fun. You have to be quick, but accurate. At the end we were missing a bag, but it turned out that someone had tagged it and just not marked it down. Just to double check three of us (lol) were going to go up to the 12th floor to make sure it had been delivered correctly. The elevator was taking too long, so one of the others suggest we run up 12 flights of stairs. I thought he was joking, but suddenly they both took off towards the door, so I followed. As the door was closing behind us I heard the elevator ding its readiness-- as if we cared any longer ;p Of course, by the 12th floor, we were all staggering and barely breathing. I came in second place.

Oh, and the bag was there XD

After that, we were officially done. Many おつかれさまでしたs were exchanged, and I left...only to return moments later since I forgot my bag XD On the way home I was very hungry and not quite sure what I would eat upon my arrival at the apt, so I decided to treat myself to some tasty (but not excessively expensive) foodage. Chicken quesadilla was had, and it was UBERDELICIOUS. There are leftovers for the boy, so I hope he gets home soon. (Even when I work, he is still busier.)

Anyhow, this pattern (with a few changes, unique events taken out, and check-out's added starting on saturday in the mornings) should continue for the next two weeks. I was a pretty daunted earlier, but now I feel pretty confident. Also, it's great to be surrounded by so much Japanese. I wish I was as fluent as everyone else, but the times I can think of something in Japanese quick enough make me happy. Sometimes I don't always understand, but for most of the times like that, there are times where I feel surprised to be following, so hopefully that means I'm improving...or...something.


Tuesday, August 15, 2006


I added a cool comic.

Work will entail going to hotels, counting/unloading/watching bags, and checking many many hotel rooms. I wonder how long it will take. My first three days or so I start at 11, but after that it may be earlier because we start check-out.

I'm envious because most of the other people they hired seem to be fluently bilingual aka (half-)Japanese.

Today Yusuke and I will have coffee and watch a movie. I'm already going to be running out of money between buying clothes for work and going to see Tron on Saturday. Plus groceries. Plus...whatever. I think what I will end up doing is just keeping track of how much b-day money I spend on things that I NEED and then paying myself back later when I get my check from JTB. Contact isn't out until the middle of Sept anyways, and I can always import Earthboundage.

I don't know what to have for lunch.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Good Weekend Story

So much stuff has happened and I haven't updated at all!!! *_*

First, though, I need to put in a load of laundry so I have something to wear to WORK today...


Friday I hung out with a Japanese guy I met on craigslist named Yusuke. We get along really well. With other people I have met, it was awkward and we didn't have much fun, but with Yusuke, everything was great. I showed him Shadow of the Colossus and we made spaghetti before he had to leave. After that I was just sorta bumming around the house, but I ended up going out with the boy and some PEOPLE FROM WORK. That was pretty fun. I had already eaten, but I had dark cherry cheesecake for dessert (yummmm.)

Saturday we just kinda punked around the apt for the most part. That night we watched The Secret of Nimh **spoilers**, which I haven't seen in ages. I wanted to see if it was still scary. I can't really say that I was actually frightened this time, but it was really easy to see why it would've been disturbing for a kid (what with the bloody swordfights and sinking into the gloopy mud, not to mention, you know, rats smarter than us.)

I had a GREAT day on Sunday. The only thing that could've been better is if Scott could've had as much fun as I did. He had lots of work to do : / Yusuke invited me out to lunch with his Korean friend. There was a festival in Japantown, so we got katsudon (tasty!!) and then wandered around there for a bit, went to a park, then got coffee, and finally ended up on the roof taking pix. Those two are a total riot, very funny, and always teasing. We had a really awesome afternoon. Last night we watched some cartoons and then sacked out so Scott could get up UBER early to finish some stuff for work. I was up for a bit to make coffee and have a snack, but then I sacked out again. Gotta be sharp for my meeting at JTB.

Other notable items: my birthday cards were all found! I got monies now :D Also, an extremely helpful friend of mine is going apt shopping for me in Stockton, so I won't have to journey down there before the appointed day of...evil : / *sigh*

I'm really nervous about my job. I know I don't have the right clothes, so there's that, but I just hope I don't screw up. If I do, I know that I'm messing up 6,000 people's vacations o_o That's not a little intimidating... Today is just a meeting, so I'm mostly worried that I will look like a scrub compared to everyone else...we'll see.

Other than that, I think Yusuke will be a good immediate motivation to study more Japanese. He is leaving at the end of the month to go back to Japan (where I could've hung out with him if I were going : /) but we will be pen pals.

I still feel stupid a lot, and wish there were something I could do to ameliorate that, but ah well. I just can't help wishing I were better. It seems like maybe I could be and I'm just lazy. Or maybe this is really the way I am, and that's sort of depressing. I dunno. I should just shut up ;D I'm not in a particularly bad mood, and there's no reason to

I will read some more while waiting for the laundry to be done.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Thursday, August 10, 2006


I was browsing 3yen today and found AEON, which is an English school corporation. They also have a program specifically for kids called Amity. To tell the truth, this looks pretty wicked cool. Possibly even better than JET. I'm so glad I found this program. If I decide to go teach, I will probably apply there.

I'm not very good at sleeping.

Yesterday FINALLY got cool when Scott came home and we went over to Jenn's new place. She needed help getting her stuff out of her car, so we pitched in to get it done, but not without pizza, alcohol, and a really crazy Thai Western movie (with a surreal hand-tinted color scheme to it) first. It was midnight on our WAY to the store, so by the time we got back with our foodage and started the movie...who knows? I lost track of time completely. All I know is that we didn't go to bed until 7 this morning and despite being totally zonked, I didn't sleep very well and was wide awake at noon.



There are so many stressful things, and they all seem to be very...not something I'd like to stress over. Not that I enjoy stressing, but lately I'm really envious of people with actual lives instead of the stupid college slog. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

My mom said I should skip the job I finally got and concentrate on making sure I have a place to live for school. There is a certain amount of sense in that, but only a certain amount. It's not going to take me two weeks to go down to Stockton one day and look at a couple apts. Also, I almost want to take this job just on PRINCIPLE to make it seem like maybe I did SOMETHING responsible this summer. Of course, the lazy side of me who especially dislikes doing things that don't relate to my career aspirations would be fine with not taking this short little stub of a job and relishes the license to do so. Do you think it would be better for me to study harder and watch foreign movies for a couple weeks instead of playing gopher? That said. I am flat flat broke. It'd be nice to have some cash to look forward to.

And then I remember how in debt I am and how riddled with payment my future will be. My income will be hollowed out completely and I will be left with such a dainty shell of cash that the slightest unforseen expense will shatter my standard of living.


Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Dining with Jabez

The rat and I are fleshing out our foodage today with some saltines. They taste exquisite compared to the nasty stir fry.


Next comes the choice of evening activities. I think I will throw myself out of the apt for a bit, maybe go swing up at the park in an hour or so (let the nasty settle first...) Until then, I imagine I'll be here putzing with my DS or reading or drinking ice water or surfing or studying Japanese.

I need to get more exercise. I've been woefully sedentary these past few days. There just isn't anywhere I feel the need or desire to go. If I did go out it would be for food or shopping or something and I have something like six dollars, so that is a no go. I wish I were more creative. I SHOULD take my camera out and go for a wander, but that sounds so lonely and I can be lonely here if I want. Maybe I will see if I can find any interesting bored people on craigslist and hook something up for tomorrow.

Broken garlic powder stir-fry w/egg

There were noodley veggies in the freezer. There is no soy sauce, but there is pepper. I have no idea what this will taste like, probably garlic...

Most of it will stick to the pan, anyway, I presume.

Hmm. This isn't so great. In fact, it's pretty bad. I just hope the egg got cooked enough...

I dunno if I really want to eat this.


No, I DO know. I don't...

I will just choke down as much as possible and hope that dessert is better.

Maybe I will have another clementine to balance it out a bit.

3 Dreams

1: I was given an NES. It didn't really look like an NES, more like a Playstation. I guess it was like a rerelease, because, yeah, it could play not only cartridges, but CDs and DVDs as well. I got Final Fantasy, Megaman, Megaman 9 (which doesn't exist), Super Mario Bros., and some other stuff including Kid Icarus, which I've never seen and must've made up the gameplay for. No Castlevania, though : / Only had one controller, too, so I couldn't play Mario with whoever was with me...I think my brother or someone.

2: I was on my way to my first day of work, nearly there with no time to turn back, when I realized I was wearing the scrubbiest clothes I own. It was only a meeting, so I figured it would be better to show up hobo-y than not at all, but gah...gotta make sure I have some nice-ish clothes on Monday.

3: I was in gym class and we were playing this strange variation on soccer where you had to roll the ball into these circles painted on the ground. We were playing on a soccer field so sometimes people would forget and start streaking for the goals. Beforehand we had to "warm-up" by seeing if we could jump to this spot in the middle of one of the circles. I had to wait for EVERY SINGLE KID to try and then when it was my turn I was standing there ready to go in front of everyone and I did it, but then he started the game and everyone laughed at me cuz I was in the middle of the field. I don't think the teacher liked me much. There were all sorts of kids I used to know like one of my neighbors whom I didn't really get along with and one of my friends (with white-blond hair) from elementary school. I scored once and then was going to again, but the circles were color coded according to teams (there were three or four.) We were orange, so a green circle wouldn't count...

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

sknil etc

For some reason Toasty Frog wasn't on my list yet, so I added him. This morning I found Kawaii Not (evil cute things) and the Wooster Collective (street art.)

So far...nothing. I can't believe it's quarter to 11. I guess maybe I should take advantage of my last week of "freedom" and just lounge around, but I'm supposed to figure out school crap and probably should study.

I might just read and play video games, though.

It's creepy that the summer is ending.

Monday, August 07, 2006

It's Official

I'm really not going to Tokyo. Not this semester, not next semester, not at all. No study abroad in Japan. It's sort of sad, and sort of defeats the purpose of my entire major. Ah well. Just means I have harder...or something (like maybe study at all the way things are going lately.)


A Pictabulous Update

This is a snap of Ian and Mandolin:

The rat I am babysitting has crawled upon me!

Still crawling!

This is the cutest one. I am using it for my default Myspace pic now.

A quick run down (and some happy sparkly bits)

of the radicality that is the finale to this weekend:

Saturday night we ended up out with Ian's friend Chris for some tasty Mexican food. I had chicken fajitas and THEY WERE TASTY. Then we watched one of the best movies OF ALL TIME, Chungking Express.

Sunday morning it happened that Ian discovered a DREAMCAST had arrived in the mail, so I finally got to play Rez and Space Channel 5. Then we multiplayered a bit on the 'cube (Mario Kart and Smash Bros.) before heading downtown. He showed me one of the thrift stores he likes and a board/role playing game store. We sat around the bus stop for a bit prior to my embarking on the three hour trip home.

I mused a bit on the bus.

Upon returning home I saw, to my eternal astonishment and delight, that our house guest had cleaned the whole place. ("Instant karma," says the boy.) There was much rejoicing. We had pizza 'n beer (that I bought...yes, my first ID-backed purchase of alcohol. Awwww...) and checked out the movie Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior, recommended by my brother. It was pretty good. Much jumping and kicking.

The other perquisite of everything at the moment is that I get to have a pet for a couple days! He is a cute and friendly white and brown rat. I just fed him some nuts and seeds and crackers which he is munching contentedly. Sparkles! He likes to climb around on hands and pee on electronics. (*shrug* I have no idea.)

So, everything pretty much roxxorz, unless you count school and money and all that sort of crudbuckety nonsense.

"Crudbuckety nonsense..." I think I like that.

Very glad to be back in Frisco, even though I had a good weekend. It really felt like coming home :D

Saturday, August 05, 2006

The rule is...

that whenever I do anything actually WORTH taking pictures of, I will not have my camera with me. It is a law of nature, a law of physics, a law of Emily. We went to play pirate mini-golf at the wharf/beach/amusement park. It was a bit of a walk, but pleasant enough. We took the coastline. There were surfers, which I don't actually think I've ever seen in real life before, only on tv...

We both performed atrociously as far as our golf scores went. Par was generally a bit beyond us. "Walk the plank" is what the score interpreting sign told us. My favorite hole was the second to last one, which was the captain's quarters. Apparently the captain went down with a previous ship, or something, because was a ghost projected eerily on the wall who shouted at us to leave. Very inhospitable pirates all around. "This deck is for buccaneers only!" or was it scallywags...perhaps they have a deck for each? Anyhow, the captain was desk. I want that light for my house to scare away unwanted visitors. "Get off my stoop!" instead of "Get off my ship!" maybe.

Last night we had a really great stir fry of which there are left-overs in the fridge that I'm supposed to eat for lunch. Not sure if I'm in the mood, but I should probably eat it considering I have seven dollars in my bank account. After that we played video games, and Ian gave me a Sonic Rush and Super Monkey Ball Touch & Roll for my birthday :D Then inexplicably the night turned to South Park marathon, which was ok, I suppose. I've never really paid too much attn to that show, so it was interesting. The ones we watched were MOSTLY funny and not TOO stupid.

Today Ian works until 5, so I've got the whole afternoon to punk around. If those damned chickens next door (yes, they have chickens) don't shut up soon I'm going to go butcher one and have THAT for lunch ;p

Friday, August 04, 2006

"Santa Cruz, you're not that far..."

"No, you're not that far."

Yeah, pretty much whenever I am traveling I have to listen to The Thrills - So Much for the City, but this time it was a little more relevant than usual because I was going to...

SANTA CRUZ...but I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.

Yesterday morning early early early Scott straggled home from the office, packed his bags, and (pretty much) left directly. I zonked out again for another couple hours and then woke up to my alarm going off. My first thought was, "Oh, I must have to wake Scott up for something," but then I realized he wasn't there : / Then I realized I was supposed to get ready to meet Randy for coffee.

We chattered and had some rather mediocre coffee water. Mine was supposed to be chocolate macadamia flavored *shrug* I guess it made some vague intimations...but other than that *shrug shrug shrug*

Then I bustled around, ran a couple errands, met one of Scott's co-workers who will be holding down our fort while we're gone, and hopped a Greyhound south. It was a very nice bus with seemingly new upholstry, not too crowded, and quite fast (not to mention direct) compared to the Stockton-Frisco run (which if you recall, goes through...SACRAMENTO >_<)

Hanging out with Ian has been cool so far. I really like his house. It's tiny, but not in a cramped way, more in a compact efficient sort of way. He has a big futon bed I can sleep on, while he climbs up to the loft, for instance. Also, the dish rack is hung above the sink (which is also handy since then they don't drop on the counter, but into where the water SHOULD go :D)

Mostly what we've been up to is playing video games so far. He has quite a few, many of which are new for me. I'm keeping track of that in my 1up blog.

Also, he has a kickin' MacBook Pro (which he bought refurbished for a quarter cheaper than it should've been.) I'm not familiar with this browser, though, so I'll add links to everything later if I feel so inclined...

*lazes about*

Ian made a pizza from scratch yesterday (dough, sauce, and all.) It turned out AWESOME. He also whipped up some amazering eggless chocolate chocolate chip (with cream cheese frosting) cupcakes. Quite handy in the kitchen, he is.

One thing I learned is that volumizing shampoo doesn't work. Another thing I learned is that I never want to put it in my hair again!! ;p Just imagine me...poofier than normal *cry* lol Nah, it's not too extreme, but I can definitely tell the difference. Had to borrow the shower after a travel-y day, but I think next time I'll use the other shampoo. It's just that I didn't read the bottle until after I had squeezed it out, and didn't want to waste it : /

We started watching The Great Dictator (Chaplin, ne) last night, but I got too sleepy to really enjoy it, so we'll finish it when he gets back from work. Yeah, he's at work until 1, but all that means is that I get quality time with the video games (and can play all the one player I want without feeling like I'm being boring.)

What I've seen of Santa Cruz so far has been pretty nice. For some reason wherever I go in California I feel like it is exactly what I expected it to be. I don't even know what I expect things to be, but even when I first arrived fresh off the plane from Wisconsin I thought, "Yep, this is definitely California." I wonder where all these preconceptions come from and why they are all right... Santa Cruz has a cute main drag, lots of hotels, and somewhere, a beach. This morning I am just chilling, but I don't know what the plan for the afternoon is. Then tomorrow Ian has to work most of the day, so I should probably get out at least a little. That is assuming I can pry myself off the gamez.

heh ;p

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The trick to eating sushi

is to successfully decide whether you want heavy or light. I don't even want to know how much fat was in the unagi, avocado, crabmeat, crazy gooey (Polk St.) roll I had today. I couldn't even eat all of it at the place and had to bring the rest home. Then I got kind munchy, so I ate the rest and am currently debating whether or not that was the right idea.

Probably not.

REGARDLESS, I added some links to the Japan section. If nothing else, definitely check out PingMag. They've got some great articles. I especially enjoyed Portable Chopstick Designs and Scott Campbell: Misforming Transformers.

Did you read the last post I made? Did you follow the link? If anyone is reading this stuff, it'd be nice to get some comments up on LD. Gotta plug my psuedo-work site, ne.

*plays games or something*

Very short post


My Guilt

I am the one who said no!!! I am!!! I admit it! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. I was so confused. Who is this freak they have writing the boy's preview? Why didin't I realize the end was sarcastic when I read it the first time! I think in my confusion I skimmed. The door mention would've tipped me off. Oh the sighing.

Everyone go click yes :D

On the other hand, this is much better. Click on that, too.

Let us also take this moment to say some other words:

I'm going to Santa Cruz tomorrow for a fun-filled weekend of DSness etc and veggie food. How roxxor it will be.

Today is library and laundry. I think maybe I will not go to the civic center one. I think instead I will go to the one on Green, or maybe the Chinatown branch. I just don't have much interest in heading down that other way...

I'd also like to study some Japanese today. I know I keep harping on slacking, my lack of stupidity!!! I'm actually going to study today...CROSS MY HEART (no hoping to die, though, that's no good)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Melted Brain

Well I did eventually go to the museum. I was supposed to meet some people and then became so paranoid I would never find them that I ducked into the movie I had wanted to check out. It was long.

It was strange.

It had good music

and nasty things.

Also naked people and elaborate outfits.

Drawing Restraint

Number 9 is what I saw.

They chop a bit.

Also, what is "ambergris?"

Obviously, I really don't understand it at all. I've looked at some of his other stuff (on that site and in the museum) and don't really get that either. It's not really on my wavelength.

Yick Bleck Phooey (and the usual insecurities once more laid out in all their splendor and misery)

This morning was wasted here. I may or may not have made 48 cents.

*dies* I think the last hour and a half or whatever..two hours maybe (GOD) have ruined any motivation I may have had.

Uhm...last night I was uber-sick off my stupid pill. Managed to make dinner, but then couldn't eat it. I guess I'll have leftovers for lunch.

Today the museums are free so I should go see some modern art, but...

I dunno. For some reason in Paris it was cool to do stuff by myself, or at least I WOULD and enjoy it. Now, I just feel like it's lame or boring or not worth it. I mean, even the first time I came to San Francisco (or was it the second...) it was a total on my own thing. That was still cool.

Maybe I'm just depressed still. Haven't heard anything back from school...wish I could just skip the whole damnable thing. Also, I'm not sure I'm really cut out for this job that I will be doing in two weeks. I may end up spending my entire pay check just to ride the stupid bus around V_V Yesterday, as I said already, I took a big long nap to try to feel better. I don't want to do that today. I've slept enough. Sick of sleeping, but I'm sick of most other things too. The boy will leave soon and I'll be left with a messy apt and guilt.

To clean or not to clean...

The summer is wasting away.

Maybe since my strategy yesterday sucked I should just drag myself out today. That is easier said than done, however, because for starters, I need a shower. That means I need to shower, AND eat lunch, AND WALK alllll the way down there and actually have the attn span to look at art by myself for...however long. None of this sounds any good to me right now.

One of the most alarming things is that feeling that one has already given up. Not like you think you will, but just something in you tells you it's already happened and you had no input. Generally when I get that feeling, it's pretty much over. The damage is already done, and the end is near. Whatever it was tends to finish as a phenomenal waste of time/money/energy and I feel like crud about it for just about ever. I've been feeling that way about Japanese lately.

Maybe it's just a personality flaw.

Maybe I'm a weak, pathetic, flake. It's a sad thing to realize.

This is altogether too emo.

This is altogether too much what I luckily DIDN'T do YESTERDAY while I was feeling really bad. I decided I WASN'T going to blog about how much I hate myself, and here I am doing it now, albeit in a much more calm state of mind.

I feel guilty. Most of all for not having a handle on myself. I feel like a horrible person for not knowing what's going on...with me. Also for my paralyzing indecision. Laziness. General funk. I don't want to inflict my existential dilemmas on others. Or any other dilemmas.

Where I am right now, I don't think I would want to hang out with myself. I'm worried that eventually everyone will realize that I bring them down, or that I just have no concept of reality, or that I am a loser and a bad influence, SOMETHING and then I won't have a boyfriend or a friend or an acquaintance.

I hate the fact that I'm writing this. It sounds so...stupid. It's exactly the sort of crap you would expect to find it a worthless blog of no account.

I didn't want this to be that.