Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Hilariously specific, ridiculous dream (4:00 a.m.)

I'm laughing so hard (in my mind because I should have an hour and a half to sleep still but for some reason I'm awake) at this dream because it's the kind of thing that could totally happen until halfway through when it goes completely surreal.

So I was on assignment with my [dream] Japanese boss to a FamilyMart to eat a new addition to the "Ore no" food line (something like a huge chocolate croissant) and a new coffee brand. He was going to be writing up the piece [I guess we worked for some kind of outlet] but I'm guessing the idea behind the column was really to see how different a Japanese guy and a foreign girl's perspectives would be on various food items. This was our first time out, though. I was sort of nervous. Also, for some reason we were sitting eating on the floor behind the candy isle, hahaha. That made me even more nervous, I think. (Sometimes FamilyMarts have chairs, even, so I don't know…) Then he's about halfway through eating his half of the croissant thing (he thought it was great, I was wondering how it could even be called a croissant) when he suddenly gets on the phone? To call the manager of the store? With this mischievous look on his face.

And yeah, this when the entire things turns into an anime episode. He calls them (even though the store cannot possibly be big enough to warrant it) and starts with this kind of long lead in that makes me think he's trying to use the fact that he's writing a column as a way to get free coffee. So then I'm not nervous, I'm mortified, but it turns out that's not why he was calling. He said we would "search the store" (what?) and then that we were hoping to meet with an employee after that, to talk as the three of us. He said he was calling from a TV spot (which, JUST like in manga or anime had name that was a pun on a real TV spot, hahaha) and that we would be FILMING and he winked at me. Before the pleading "What? Noooo" look on my face has even formed, he's like, "Yeah, Emily, you're an up-and-coming gaijin tarento now! Congrats." I shit you not, the words "gaijin tarento" descended out of the ceiling as a flickering colored lightbulb sign. The horror! He was suddenly standing up on a ladder (I guess maybe he had to push a button in the ceiling to get that sign out? Bizarrely practical for something that is basically like the captions in Kill La Kill) clapping and in my head I hear the onomatopoeia "pachi pachi pachi pachi" till I wake up and think lololololol till I realize it's 4:00 a.m.