Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Psych Dump: I have a talent for making things unfun

Last night and this morning I sort of had a breakthrough about triathlon training:

I don't have to do it.

I set this goal that I would complete a triathlon by the time I'm 30, which is totally doable. I could do a triathlon next YEAR if I really wanted to. (Maybe the excessive time span is a hint about how badly I really want to do it...)

Look, here are the reasons I did it:

- I like to bike.
- I like to swim.
- I would like to improve at both.
- Learning how to run would be good for me.
- Goals are good.

None of this necessarily SAYS triathlon. It says, "Ride your bike and swim!"

That is what it says to me. Running is good for everyone, that doesn't mean we all have to do it. I hate running. You know what I like? Sure you do: biking and swimming.

And tennis.
And tap dancing.
And studying Japanese.
And working.
And watching old movies.

I don't need to complete a triathlon, I need to have FUN. I am sooooo good at setting goals and giving myself unnecessary challenges. All of my hobbies turn into chores because I think I need to accomplish certain things by certain times and be the best and blah blah blah. I'm not gonna be the best at anything. That's not pessimism, that's just recognizing that even if I get really good at something there will be someone who has fewer hobbies than me (i.e. razor focus) and probably a better memory who is the best. In the whole world. And that is toooootally fine. I want to ENJOY MYSELF and meet people who also enjoy themselves. Happy people. I'm a happy person, but all of this attempting to be over-productive in every field is just going to wear me out...

not to mention distract me from fun.

I'm gonna try NOT to make my life harder for a while. I'm one of those people who likes to cram cram cram till there isn't a second to breathe, but trying to rock all socks at once is probably the best way to rock no socks. And doubly so for socks you don't really want to rock.

As a side note: It surprises me that I'm not a power-vacationer. When I go on vacation I pretty much want to do nothing. I don't need to see much or do much. I just want to wander around and eat local food. You'd think with the cramming personality, I would be one of those over-schedulers (like I am normally) and try to fit every point of interest in in like two days, but I'm not at all. Sort of bizarre.

Anyhow, that is all. I'm gonna try to have more fun and set fewer stupid goals that aren't actually things I care about :)

PS - if you are from Twitter and still reading -- wow! This blog kind of sucks ;) There may or may not be revitalization plans in the works, but eve if there are, the last thing I would do is set a goal about them ;)

PPS - OMG -- my motto: "More hobby, less bullshit." It's so fitting.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I don't blog anymore!

It's a little alarming, too, since although tweets don't really disappear, they don't archive either. These past couple months are pretty much lost to the ether. Might try to pop in here more often for a check-up (and not just when it's emo time).


is going well. Twitter is great. I dunno what else to say about that. Still trying to get clear of my own personal backlog. There's no pressure, apparently, but I think that might just make it harder!


need to do more. I subscribed to The New Yorker and Wired, which are the two magazines I always grab at airports for long flights, so now I can just...bring my copies ;) but there are other things I'd like to be reading, too. I haven't finished any books since starting at Twitter, ha...ha...sigh. Also haven't checked my google reader at all, despite the fact that it is stocked with really great stuff.

Social stuff...

same. old. But not really, since I have lots of new friends from work. Been especially enjoying tap class. And you would think I might meet some people at the SF Bay Club, too (where I go to swim, etc.)


not finding time to play! I brought a bunch with me for the trip to NYC but forgot my DS charger, heh...ha...CRY.

The Internet...

OMG I MISS YOU. It's weird that when you work for the Internet, you suddenly have no time to take it in anymore. I need a good rickroll.