Keep on going!

I find giving myself pep talks sort of...works. If I talk to myself (in my head) and maybe mouth the words if I'm alone, I can feel a little better. If I consciously try to stay positive, I will feel better.

For instance, I really miss Scott tonight for some reason. I talked to him and stuff, but it really made me miss him and just being there. Anyways, instead of dwelling on the fact that I'm not there, I TRY to think, "Only a week from tomorrow" because I should be able to get out there by then. A week still feels like a long time, but hey this one is almost done...

I dunno. I sort of got a lot done today. I mean for a person with bronchial problems. A bunch of astro, like I think I mentioned already, and then some Japanese. I'm gonna listen to the first disk of Nakama 2 when I decide to turn out the lights. See how much I can catch. I'll probably fall asleep pretty quick...

I also got an e-mail from 3 about meeting up for Japanese. We are both kind of in a similar boat, so I think if we partner up and motivate each other we will be able to get through the semester. That's what I have to do. It's so easy to want to cry and feel like I can't make it. It's all overwhelming, but I have to just keep going... Hopefully my extra credits will be ok and then my registration will be complete. Soon, I think, everything will settle down into a schedule I can follow with barely a thought. Just go to the classes, do the work, make some time for friends, and escape as many weekends as I can.

Oh hell, I just remembered that stupid Saturday meeting. The reason I can't go THIS weekend. I hope they aren't every weekend. I just can't do that.

But there I go again. Somehow everything will be ok. Bronchitis doesn't last forever, this week doesn't last forever, September doesn't last forever, the semester doesn't last forever... And then my negative mind says, "Yeah, well, just about EVERYTHING doesn't last forever and that is opening the door to some very unhappy thoughts about sadness and death."

See, I really need to work on this. I really am ok, though!