This morning I got some help from my astronomy prof. He went over this supposedly simple (but for me horribly puzzling) formula thing and, of course, it made brilliant sense when he did it, but none of the answers I got before had anything to do with what he got.
So he finished explaining it and I mumbled something about having trouble knowing which units to use for the formulas and I hypothesize that that was the moment where this voraginous hole yawned between us. He was like, "Yeah...well...yeah..." and I was like, "Yeah..." and then asked what my major was. I think if there wasn't already a chasm there certainly would've been by the time I said, "Japanese."
It's weird. I never really felt that way before with any of my teachers. Not my math teachers or any science teachers before. Even though they, too, obviously knew more than I would ever know about what I have dubbed the "Chasm studies" (because if I were to jump into the chasm, I would land on the bottom and if I started studying things like basic math and then calculus and then science stuff and etc I would be filling in the hole to eventually bridge and be able to have an intelligent two-way conversation with people over there) I never felt quite so...over here.
Disheartening to say the least! It's not like I'm depressed. I guess I always know that I can't possibly know everything, but I never really thought about how if I know a bunch of one thing and someone else knows a bunch of something else, we can't really have too much meaningful interaction besides explaining stuff to each other, which assumes we have the time and inclination to learn that other stuff. Everyone has their own "community," I guess. Is it better to be a generalist and float around? Maybe one can be special but not toooooooo special. Although now it's starting to sound like no one has a life beyond their academic interests @_@
Thinking too much gives me inferiority complexes :D I think maybe that's the bottom line. I just wish I could be on the same page as everyone all the time and it's just not possible! Too many pages...