Monday, February 13, 2006

The Jam Sandwich Files

(The following is an excerpt from my JLit Journal detailing an experiment performed earlier this evening.)

Next page: Ha! Eating a jam sandwich in the dark is mystical? I'm going to try it and get back to you ;p (No, for real...)

SANDWICH UPDATE
It's not dark enough to eat my sandwich...I dunno if I will be able to get it TOO dark...maybe I should just close my eyes and eat it in the closet (too bad there is no door.) Also I've researched online and consulted with a friend who has a history with jam sandwiches. There seems to be a consensus that cheese (usually mature cheddar) is involved. Also butter. Unfortunately, tradition also demands white bread. I think the jam I got is raspberry. I probably should've gone with the strawberry, but oh well. So it's white bread, butter (I think...I hope it's not margarine...), this jam, and cheddar cheese. The cheese I'm sure is not really the proper variety at all, since it's just whatever was lying around the dining hall. Also involved is some tea, which, while not mentioned in the quote (nor was the cheese) appears to be an integral part of the ritual. Getting darker...maybe I will hold out for a bit.

EXPERIMENT
So, with the sandwich described above at about 6:13 pm Feb 13th, 2006, in the basement of John B (at work in the PRIDE center) I did my best to make it dark. A note was posted on the door which I ALMOST closed (to keep light out) entreating anyone coming to the center to enter despite the fact that the lights were off. It was kinda dark for a minute, but then my eyes adjusted. I forgot also to specify that Earl Grey (what I had) is not really the correct tea, but (as in the cheese's case) it was the closet I could get. For the record it was suppose dto be "generic tea" (in bag form.) So, at that time and place, I closed my eyes (for further darkness) and ate this funky meal.

My experience was not...mystical...per se. It was interesting, but I wouldn't say mystical, no. For one thing (just to get it out of the way,) I think being at work in the dark performing such a ridiculous experiment in and of itself imparted a certain tension and energy to the affaire. As for the sandwich, I was worried at first that I wouldn't be able to actually taste the cheese, which would have skewed the restults and required a retest. Thankfully, all ingredients made their presence known (and I'm not sure I want them known like that all at once ever again...)

First, of course, was the nostalgia/relative unfamiliarity of the white bread. I don't usually eat white bread, not regularly, at least, since high school. It's taste and texture are strange to me now. The jam was friendly enough, although this particular variety had an overabundance of seeds... Butter, I don't have terribly often, but I do enjoy it on occassion and certainly with jam on bread (esp dipped in coffee) would be an acceptable one. THEN I bit a bit FURTHER and found the ALIEN STOWAWAY! Not REALLY a stowaway, mind you, buy certainly foreign and it WOULD be unaccounted for had I not been on the topic of jam sadwiches for the better part of an hour this afternoon! The texture, normal for cheese, understandable with ham and lettuce, or beef and tomato, or chicken and mustard, etc, was twisted beneath these two pale slices of bread and their slatherings into a strange variable monster. Now delicious, now verging on the disgusting, the taste merged with and emerged from within the others in a nearly stomach-turning waltz. I couldn't decided if it was a pleasurable experience or not. The tea, I wasn't crazy about, but the sandwich, maybe the sandwich had potential! Maybe it IS holding me in some sort of MYSTIC SWAY. I WILL say that any mysticism IS due almost definitely to the presence of the aforementioned cheddar. I realize that in the novel the exact make and model of the "jam sandwich" was not specified, and it is making very large assumptions to include cheese here. In all truthfulness, my first reaction had been simply any old piece of bread with some jam, folded in half. Whether this is a matter of personal preference or just a sad ignorance of jam sandwiches, it is hard to say. Having spent considerable time and effor tto arrive at a more respectable specimen of jam sandwich may, in the end, have led me astray. After all, the Japanese are known at times and traditionally for their simplicity. The cheese is perhaps an unnecessary and possibly even inappropriate adornment. Having no recourse to primary sources, I made my decision, and there it stands.

This experiment could continue on, but I feel that if, say, tomorrow, I would omit the cheese (and most likely the tea) and simply have the bread, butter, and jam, it would then require the next night to be just bread and jam. What if the tea really does matter? And then there are further variations involving the type of bread, flavor of jam, toasted or untoasted, ham? pickles? In a word, infinity. Jam can be added to any sandwich and while it is generally the main ingredient that makes itself known in the title, this is not always the case. It is quite possible to use LARGE QUANTITIES of jam on anything.

In any case, this is swiftly descending into idle speculation. The matter is, as described, decidedly NOT closed, not for me, anyhow. However, the experiment was worthwhile for its own sake and I'm glad that one simple line from a novel (which doe snot revolve around jam or even sandwiches in the slightest) can inspire in me such genuine curiosity and scientific spirit.

...

PS - Over the course of the evening I've become more pessimistic in my views regarding this incident. This is a characteristic tendancy I have observed previously, when it comes to me, and was probably to be expected. The charm has worn off. The "mysticism" has met it's end. I do not like cheddar with jam. It is sort of nasty.

3 comments:

BadMonkey said...

Lol, oh I'm so sorry you didn't like it Tiger, that there was a staple of my childhood! And fruit'n'cheese go together! The nice cup of tea is just for an additional contrasting flavour, but then you know I like a cuppa! So, was it a mystic experience, or did you just feel sick? Or did you just feel silly eating a jam sandwich in the dark?

Emily said...

I fear for the children...

o_o

;p

Xavier said...

lmao i'm so confused. but it sounds amazing. Alexis has some weird sandwich that is peanutbutter and mayonaise. or peanutbutter and something odd. i'll have to ask him again.

my mixy/mixful concoction is mountain dew and milk. gotta love it!