The State of Things

Natto need only be tried once. It is not necessary to attempt bravery when you know it is yucky and smelly and gives you nasty breath. Thus, I had pb toast for lunch with high hopes of picking up an orange on the way to work.

I need some fruit.

Speaking of work, I have no idea how I survived yesterday, but I did. Wednesday was such a nice and productive day. There are things I would like to translate today, too, but I have to go perform my six hours of cashier time. Paycheck next week, though!

The thing bugging me the most I think right now, besides the brain strain from repetitive oblivion, is the fact that it's always so chilly. It's not cool to stand there all day being cold (and/or wet, the weather being what it is lately.) Everyone is sick and I absolutely refuse! It's ridiculous.

I can't help feeling like someone needs to rescue me.

What else..oh. A preliminary visit to the doctor yesterday ended with free pills and a green card. Whoo. Now I just have to hope that my test in a couple weeks doesn't come up with the same results as the first, otherwise they have to take pieces away ;_;

Not excited about work today at all. Yesterday I was in a pretty decent mood going in, which I think is maybe also why I had an ok time of it. Still felt long long long, but...in a not so hopeless and despairing way.

Today I just don't want to go. The morning hasn't been so cheerful and I'd much rather work on my Japanese than sell food.

This is the first day I will have my own drawer and oddly enough my number is 112 (i.e. twelve, the best number ever.) Yesterday I was thinking that perhaps it's a good sign, but today all I can think of is that...

I don't want to go.

Don't. Want. To go.

Technically I should just look forward to later this evening when it is said that fun things will occur, but I'm in a such a shitty mood that I just don't care.

Why does this happen to me? Hate hate hate! Argh! I can't do this, but I need to think of a way that I can. I'm not such a wuss as all this, I mean, come ON.

I think the main problem is that there is no sense of accomplishment. Maybe counting my drawer at the end of the day and noting profits is an accomplishment, but no, not really. There's never any closure, either. Just more customers, customers, food, bags, customers, money, money, money. Maybe I should feel good about helping people feed their families, but no, I don't feel that way. I feel like staying home and translating flash games would be a much better use of my time.

Freaking hell.