stupid flailing useless energy

i hate it! there is nothing i can do! i just hae to like...go read or something or go to bed.
i hate not bieng able to take advantage of the cosmic potential i have right now. i am a spring, a geyser, a 2 point perspective drawing, a piercing beam of light that cuts dust particles into seventy chips so fine that it's like powder snow on a strand of hair...do i know what i'm talking about?
i was also thinking about trying to write again...cuz i should. it's one of those things i should do. i want to be an amazing person. i think i have that sort of potential...
esp right now
my housemates give me very good vibes. i will miss them but honestly i think most of them are moving out soon too.
we're all off to find our destinies or something
everything is so important it really is and i feel that and know it so well. this is the crunch and the rush and the infintismal moment where the difference is the time you spend and the color of the aura in the lights of your mind and the people who are there and the way the sun comes through the trees and that creamy iced mocha waking up your throat as you look out the window and wonder about n'importe quoi.
so much to do
i am 20 and i haven't arrived. i'm just leaving! just walking through that door into the bright and shining, the glimmer, that spectacular light, just stepping out. i'm ready but not really prepared. can that even be possible? it's time tho whether i like it or not
look at how sappy this is! look at how ambitious and silly i sound. look at how my head is buzzing with a bajizillion words and ideas and things that don't even make sense. i'm so up there. i am on top of everything. lol when was the last time i felt this way? this good? this bad? no it's good for now...and hopefully it'll stay that way. this is one of those things tho that is soooo fleeting. it'll be gone i'm soon enough but you just have to remember the goals and the fireworks and the connections you made with everything. maybe i'm hypomanic lol but so what. (haha i was SOOOO close to buying books...so close...i think i'm getting better at curbing some things...)
ah life is great isn't it
it's ok
really it is lol
i think we'll make it