This is one of those moments that defines a life I think. One of those do or die. One of those crazy stupid things. This is one of those times where you have to suck it up.
I think I'm going to California.
Supposedly I have a roommate which must mean I have housing which means I am going.
She gave me a bad number so I haven't talekd to her but she called my house.
I think I need to do this.
I think in spite of the fact that I have completely geared myself up for LInguistics and have completely geared myself up for my house and even completely geared myself up for a nonexistent (as of yet) relationship with a guy who may not even consdier me that I really need to do this...
and how!
There isn't really a way to describe how I feel right now. I was already on this motivated high. I'm gong to start reading magazines for real; I'm gong to study more; I was even going to invite A out for Japanese tomorrow night but he didn't pick up his phone. I'm just so ready for THINGS. YOU KNOW?
I was so ready for this semester but if this is coming at me I will RISE. I'll take it! I'll take it and make it into my life. I'm so motivated right now.
so excited.
this is like that logic test with the fireworks...the world whizzing around you and your mind exploding impossibly into focused shards of energy to get you exactly where you want to be.
I want to make a phone call but I don't have change...
that is bugging me. i'm tempted to go around to every person in this lab until i find someone with change
so i can wake steve up
and TELL HIM
maybe i will try erich again
this sort of warps the evening's plans...i was going to immerse myself in sociolinguistics..
gosh
what to do...ne?
this will mean at leat three more years of (very expensive) school i'm sure.
i think they will help me figure it out.
someone will lead me to the place...
the japanese place where i am maybe double majoring or something...
i wonder if i can get TESOL certified there? that would be good...
but it doesnt' really matter...
i just need to start
it's always night when these things happen tho....that sort of ruins the immediate action potential...why sleep when there is so much to be done? why eat?
i need these moods when things CAN be accomplished! rather than 9:30 at night...
i'm so scared tho...there is so much doubt embedded in this thing. it's going to be intense and i really don't know if i can handle it. i want to. i want to so badly. i guess that is all i need. i just have to trust myself and everyone else. i dunno.
I HAVE NO IDEA
i got rocketship from the library today
and some mariza
good music...
it's just fuel :D
i'm gonna do it! it's gonna be huge. this is bigger than france because this is for REAL...this is my future. this is IT! so i have to do it and i have to do it right and GANBAROU NE everybody ok? the world needs some genki and i am a fountain right now lol i want to LEARN
i'm so ready
IKOU!
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