Friday, July 22, 2005

confusion with a side of coffee speckled milk...

yeah i think i need to edge my coffee count up to 2/3 of a cup instead of half...i really couldn't taste it for all that skim milk lol >_< (such a dork i am!!!)

so i have this issue with the fact that i quit russian. i think many people i know understand that already. it is a gigantic depressing THING that looms over me whenever i hear it. i will have to go back someday; once i am out of school maybe i'll start taking classes again...(how silly does that sound...an oxymoronic statement for you)

the PROBLEM is that i am having these same sort of guilt waves over japanese. i feel like i should be going to california, sparing no cost you know? i feel like i should seriously consider transferring in the spring. i know that having the linguistics background will be good...it'd be great to get a film background too but i think more important is just to have the most japanese i can possibly cram in!!! i need it! it's what i want! i don't want to get done and not be good enough to get into a T&I program...

also i think being in a real program would just be such a good experience for me...having all sorts of students that are really serious too. maybe i wouldn't be the best but then i'd just have to study even harder you know?

ho hum...

but yeah josh and i hooked up after he got out of work...stopped off at this ABSOLUTELY fantastic clothes store called Niche. On the east side just kinda chillin', it's there and really more than reasonably priced. He got me two shirts for my b-day so I can look cute for lunch tomorrow. One is turquoise and says super intellect with a funny little design...very 80s or something lol and then the other is a Tiger Cubs shirt (the official one....for sure cuz the tag says Boy Scouts) and it's really cute. The pants he lent me will look awesome with either shirt but i think i'm gonna go with the tigers cuz the brown and orange is hot ^_~

(yes tigers! steve aren't you just dying? ^_~ i'll try to get a pic ;p)

other than that...still reading...did a bit 'o japanese today...which...i feel like i dont' really have a good handle on it. i never do. of course people all say i'm great and whatever and reassure me i'm far better than them or whatever...but really i don't want to be better than other people...i just want to ROCK in my own right. i want to be a serious specialist. i want to have it all straight and really know what i'm doing. it's tough. it's just a tough gig and i'm not sure what to do about it!!!! i think i'm gonna see if i can talk to my linguistics prof. i wonder if he would do that...just talk to me about what i should do. i think he could probably be of more help than anyone else i can think of...

hum

cadillac!!! (it's a nice word...)

1 comment:

pacatrue said...

I hear you on the wanting to Rock thing with your Japanese. I'm in a doctoral program in linguistics now and have dabbled in Chinese for years, but never really been any good. Anyway, I am sure you have heard this before, but there is really only one way for you to ever become the ruler of all things Japanese language - and that's to live in Japan. Semester or year abroad since you are in college, or just a summer. And then, after you get back, you have to live it as much as you can, pretending you are still there. If you can't hang with Japanese friends, read Japanese books, listen to music, visit Japanese web sites, write in Japanese chat rooms, etc.

I always have a real hard time in language because I am naturally reserved. When I did my semester abroad in China, I talked as little as I could. I let my friends who spoke Chinese better order food. I would walk for miles to avoid having to use my language to get around on busses and taxis. Don't do this! This is the surefire way to never learn. Have fun!